In communication, ESFJs are incredibly friendly, warm, personal, kind, and loving people. ESFJs are appreciative of those around them and thrive on that appreciation too. They also pay attention to what others need daily and try their best to provide for those needs. So, how should one communicate effectively with EFSJs?
Communicating with an ESFJ requires you to reflect their warmth back to them. To listen to them and ask thoughtful questions, be clear about work expectations and never be vague, embrace their public persona, be tactful and diplomatic, and let them know that you appreciate them and their efforts.
This Myers-Briggs personality type basically makes it a point to get to know people on a personal level. Interestingly, they accommodate a variety of personalities, which is why many people feel comfortable around them. However, how can you talk to them and make them feel comfortable around you?
How To Talk With An EFSJ
Talking to ESFJs isn’t rocket science. ESFJs are people that are conscientious, warm-hearted, and cooperative. They put a lot of effort into ensuring that there is harmony and that everyone else around them gets along well with each other. However, there is a specific way that they prefer being spoken to.
Be Just As Friendly And Kind When Talking To ESFJs
One of the best things you can do when talking to an ESFJ is to reflect their friendliness and warmth. Don’t just ask surface-level questions. Dig deeper and get to know them on a more personal level. You can incorporate personal questions while speaking to them.
These questions can range from what their interests are, what their family is like, their childhood, etc. Don’t be shy. Just like you should get to know ESFJs on a personal level, let them get to know you on a personal level.
Ask ESFJs Thoughtful Questions And Listen To Them
Take time to listen. This Myers-Briggs personality type doesn’t always require guidance. Still, they will appreciate it if you ask them thoughtful questions that will encourage them to think more deeply in their responses. They enjoy thinking aloud.
ESFJs Like Work Expectations To Be Clearly Communicated
If you are in a work environment, ensure that you clearly communicate your expectation for the work they will be doing. Also, avoid being vague when explaining what is needed for tasks. Be forthright about deadlines.
The last thing you should do when talking to an ESFJ about work stuff is not thoroughly brief them and keep them in the loop. Ensure that you provide examples and explain how beneficial those expectations will be to everyone once they are met. Avoid strategic planning or abstract theories.
Do Not Try To Change ESFJs
Embrace or admire their public persona. Discuss it in private if there is something about an ESFJs demeanor that bothers you. However, be ready to back up anything you bring up with facts and evidence.
It is imperative to accentuate the positive when doing this. Ensure there is a foundation of trust before you bring up whatever issues you may have. Do not attach their personality when talking to them or giving corrective feedback. Provide a practical rationale for why you find whatever it is an issue.
Use Tact And Be Diplomatic When Talking To An ESFJ
Be diplomatic and tactful when speaking with them. ESFJs may appear to be dominating and manipulative at times. This is simply how they navigate many situations. However, if you set clear boundaries and understand how to convey them, healthy ones will not push beyond.
Show ESFJs That You Appreciate Them
As they always show appreciation, an excellent way to show that you appreciate them and their efforts is to thank them regularly. Make it heartfelt and genuine. Let them know that their efforts aren’t going unnoticed. This is important as ESFJs enjoy knowing that others know what they have been doing for others and the group.
How To Convince Myers-Briggs ESFJs
Don’t overthink your reasoning if you want to win their favor. ESFJs like frank, direct means of communication, like most SJs. The ESFJ will welcome in-depth discussions that are emotionally charged as long as they believe they are good and forward-thinking or, at the very least, are somehow improving the dynamics of the group.
They’re generally less likely to be interested in delving into the specifics of what they consider to be unimportant, negative, or unhelpful items and are less likely to find this approach to be fruitful. They are quite aware of social graces.
Thus, they will very likely want you to communicate in ways they perceive to be considerate, even if they keep their disapproval of your behavior to themselves instead of telling you directly. Unless they are explicitly informed that, for some reason, you truly need to vent your feelings and stresses out.
At this time, they are actually more likely to provide an exception and exhibit genuine compassion. People generally are curious to know what you’re feeling. However, they don’t necessarily always need or want to know the reason behind those feelings.
Arguing with them might be very challenging if you bring up emotional issues or other group-based concerns. If you can’t understand their perspective, you won’t get very far, but even then, you may not be able to entirely change their beliefs.
Instead of attempting to alter their perceptions, it would be preferable to expand them. Try to show that their viewpoint and yours don’t always have to conflict with one another.
Conclusion
It can seem daunting communicating with ESFJs, especially if you’re unaware of how they operate. However, the ways mentioned above to talk to this personality type and how to convince them will go a long way in helping you forge strong bonds with them.
The aim is to get to know them on a personal level. Always be just as warm and conscientious as they are. Do not try to change them, and be vocal about how much you appreciate them. Everyone likes knowing that their efforts are being noticed.
