A lot of people have the false belief that those with an extroverted personality tend to fall in love easily. After all, extroverts spend a lot of time mingling and getting to know others. However, this isn’t always the case. In fact, for some extroverted personality types, falling in love is a tough process. So, do ESFJs fall in love easily?
No. ESFJs do not fall in love easily. Some would argue that ESFJs are incredibly scared of commitment. They are afraid of rejection. As a result, an ESFJ will rarely push those ‘love’ feelings unless they know they have found somebody who is completely committed to them.
Let’s explain how this works. We’ll then talk about what it is like to have an ESFJ as a romantic partner.
Do ESFJs Fall In Love Easily?
ESFJs may be extroverted people, but they have a deep-rooted desire to be liked by everybody who comes into contact with them. If an ESFJ finds out somebody doesn’t like them, it isn’t uncommon for the ESFJ to become really downtrodden, and often retreat into their shell.
This is something that applies to love too. ESFJs are very reluctant to fall in love. In fact, they may even be reluctant to go on dates. They’d much rather spend their time interacting with friends & family. An ESFJ will feel that if they allow themselves to fall in love, they’ll end up getting rejected…and this will hurt a lot.
Therefore, when an ESFJ does find somebody that they are willing to commit to, they carefully consider whether that person is the right one for them. They think incredibly hard about it, and they weigh up every possible outcome for that relationship. If there is even the slightest notion that the relationship won’t work out, then the ESFJ is not going to bother at all.
That being said, once they do fall in love with somebody, it is incredibly hard for an ESFJ to fall out of love. By the time they have fallen in love, it is often due to months and months of thought. They already know that the person they are talking to is the only person they want for the rest of their lives, and they are going to do everything humanely possible to keep them in it.
The ESFJ as a Romantic Partner
So, what happens when an ESFJ has committed to you? What can you expect from them as a potential romantic partner? Well, quite a few things.
Commitment
As we said, when an ESFJ falls in love with somebody, they have already committed to that relationship. An ESFJ is not going to fall in love with somebody as a spur-of-the-moment decision. It is going to be after weighing up for months and months whether they are compatible with their partner.
When you are in a relationship with an ESFJ, you must know that you are now in a relationship with somebody who has committed the rest of their life to you. If there are issues, then you can bet your bottom dollar that the ESFJ is going to do everything in its power to try and fix those issues.
They Get Offended Easily
An ESFJ is not a fan of negative comments. While they can bat negative comments away from strangers with ease (although, it will still hurt a little), it is almost impossible for them to do with their loved ones. Even the most minor negative comment can have a massive impact on an ESFJ.
If you get into an argument with an ESFJ, the ESFJ will feel as if everything is their fault. As if they are the main reason for the issue. They will try and fix it, but they will be very sad as they try to do this.
So, if you have an ESFJ as a romantic partner, then you may need to take great care in the sorts of things that you say. Couples argue. It happens. But, if you are going to make a throwaway negative comment…don’t. Don’t be negative if you can help it. That negativity will cause the ESFJ to break.
Very Attentive
One of the wonderful things about being in love with an ESFJ is just how in touch with your needs the ESFJ will be. In fact, ESFJs will often care far more about their partner’s feelings than their own. An ESFJ may know that you are sad a long time before you tell them (sometimes before you even know yourself!).
An ESFJ will have no issues discussing your problems with you, and they may even provide solutions on how to deal with those situations.
An ESFJ may also give you gifts to show that they care. These gifts will often be due to them listening deeply to your desires. For example, if you have a certain hobby, they may get you gifts related to that hobby.
Affectionate
Once they commit to somebody, ESFJs are incredibly affectionate people. They love to show others how much they care about them, and they will be more than happy to show this love in a public setting too. Basically, they become incredibly extroverted about their love.
Incredibly Reliable
If an ESFJ says they are going to do something, then they are going to do it. They love to plan, and they love to be places on time. You will never find an unreliable ESFJ (if they can help it).
Of course, this does mean that the ESFJ is going to crave reliability from their partner too. If their romantic partner turns up late for commitments or is unable to get themselves organized properly in the relationship, the ESFJ will take this almost as a personal attack.
Final Thoughts
ESFJs are scared of falling in love. They do not fall in love easily at all. If an ESFJ tells you that they love you, then they have committed to you for life. They only want to be with partners that they are never going to break up with.
