Have you ever felt manipulated by an INFJ? You might be confused because INFJs are incredible, kind, loving, empathetic personalities. But sometimes, they do things that cause you to think they might be a little cruel. You may be wondering, will INFJs manipulate you, and what to look out for in the event?
INFJs can use intuition to manipulate situations and protect themselves. Unhealthy INFJs use manipulation for selfish gain and to hurt others. Figure out if you are dealing with an emotionally unstable INFJ and don’t give them access to personal information about you to avoid being manipulated.
Even though INFJs can use manipulation with situations and people, they don’t always mean to hurt others. Most INFJs will try to tweak a concern to protect themselves from getting hurt or getting into circumstances they dislike. Many emotionally unhealthy INFJS will use manipulation to be cruel and hurt others. Read further to understand how they do that.
Can INFJs Be Manipulative?
You will often find people shaming INFJs as ‘master manipulators’; however, most people don’t truly understand INFJs. Every soul on this planet has a dark side, including INFJs. That does not mean they are manipulative.
Some of their traits and functions cause them to seem manipulative because they have special skills to influence circumstances as they see fit, primarily to protect themselves or eliminate and avoid undesired outcomes. They never do it maliciously unless they are mentally unstable or emotionally immature.
Take a look at how INFJs can seem manipulative below:
INFJs Are Natural Chameleons
Due to the divergent personality and paradoxical nature of INFJS, they can empathize with various functions of their own and other MBTIs. The contradicting functions are sometimes incompatible, yet the INFJ can take those on like a champ! INFJs can also feel others’ moods like their own and deeply understand the emotions of others even better than their own.
The concern with chameleon characteristics means that INFJs often look like they contradict themselves because they’ll say one thing and portray another. They claim to be introverted but are incredible at making connections. They dislike conflict and confrontation, yet they have no problem cutting off a relationship because you have hurt them.
The divergent and incompatibility of INFJs personality traits cause them to contradict themselves and look manipulative – almost as if they are hypocritical and only do things for personal gain. Unhealthy INFJs use the tactics selfishly, while healthy INFJs are simply being their natural selves and don’t mean any harm.
INFJs Require Control
INFJs have a natural call to acquire and feel in control of every aspect, people, and situation. They don’t like unpredictability. Because they are hypersensitive, they feel calmer and safer when they have power.
An INFJ will assert control to shield and protect themselves from undesired outcomes. They will also do it to ensure there are no surprises because INFJs like to be exceptionally well prepared with a contingency plan for every situation. They will find the exact time, location, and every other possible detail.
The issue with control is the INFJ will do whatever it takes to manipulate a situation to their benefit to acquire their desired results. That means they could exploit their kids, siblings, colleagues, and spouse. They use their intuitive skills to precisely predict future events and influence people around them to get what they want.
Healthy INFJs will consider the feelings of others and do things in a manner that works out best for all parties. Emotionally unhealthy INFJS will facilitate the circumstances to gain personal benefits regardless of who gets hurt.
INFJs Can Be Passive Aggressive
INFJs are subtle operators and exploiters of soft power. They have the skills and use their intuition to find weak spots in people after gaining their trust, then use it against them. This capability makes them highly calculating and obsessive.
They will lean into passive-aggressive behavior when they want something, especially if the INFJ becomes obsessive and dives into their overthinking function. They do not need to shout, argue, insult, or debate. They are highly skilled in empathy and being a good support system to others.
The INFJ will get you to trust them, pour your heart out, and make you think they are on your side. Then boom! They will use it all against you. They can withdraw and slam the door on you – a phrase used to describe the INFJs method of cutting ties with people. INFJs will steer the boat away to distance quietly and quickly, making sure you know there is a problem without fully addressing it.
What To Look Out For In Manipulative INFJs?
It is challenging to deal with a manipulative INFJ; however, it is even harder to figure out if an INFJ is manipulating you or not. They are super kind, loving, caring, and show empathy in ways that other MBTIs in your life will not be able to – it’s a unique function of INFJs. That makes it challenging for someone to know whether the INFJ is genuine.
Here are some common aspects you can look out for in manipulative INFJs:
- They dig out information from you, but you don’t know anything about them.
- They make things work out in their favor, and you get the burnt end of the candle stick.
- They play on your insecurities and weak spots, making you feel guilty or second-guessing yourself.
- They use fear to get you to do what they want.
- They turn to use silent treatment if they don’t get their way with you.
- They are emotionally unstable and cannot control their anger.
- They don’t have decent relationships with other people.
- They don’t keep their word.
Remember: Not all INFJs are manipulative, and not all INFJs who have some of these characteristics try to exploit you. Most times, they are genuinely kind and caring people and are probably looking out for everyone’s best interests. Only mentally unstable and emotionally unhealthy INFJs will try to control and influence you to facilitate situations for their selfish gains.
Conclusion
INFJs can manipulate people and circumstances to shape situations maliciously for their selfish desires without considering others’ feelings. As mentioned in the points above, it is essential to look out for possible signs to avoid being exploited by an INFJ. Healthy INFJs will not try to control you and always look for the outcome that can make everyone happy.
