You have heard or know that ISFJs are very loyal and respectful relationships. They take commitments seriously and want to make sure things work out. Then why have you encountered an ISFJ that has lied, cheated, and hurt you? Will an ISFJ cheat on you, and why?
ISFJs are loyal and committed to their relationships but can betray you if they feel neglected or build an emotional attachment with someone else that gives them more of what they need. An ISFJ who frequently cheats is likely emotionally unhealthy, confused, or has character flaws.
It is undoubtedly difficult to understand why one of the most trustworthy personality types can put themselves in situations where they become unfaithful and hurt those they care about or people they claim to love. ISFJs are not cheaters, but they can often make bad relationship choices. We discuss it in detail below.
Do ISFJs Cheat?
There is no straightforward answer because ISFJs are genuinely faithful and dedicate themselves to their partners. But there are times when some ISFJs can cheat, sometimes physically, sometimes emotionally, and sometimes both.
An ISFJ who cheats on their partner is most likely an unhealthy individual who is always looking for the next best thing or has commitment issues. ISFJs don’t cheat because something in their MBTI personality causes them to do it. People who take that road have problems with their character, self-discipline, addiction, and lack of personal accountability.
There are other reasons why an ISFJ may make lousy relationship choices even if they have integrity and are part of the loyal category. We will talk about that further in the next point.
What Makes ISFJs Cheat?
ISFJs don’t just wake up and decide they will cheat (at least not the emotionally mature and healthy ones). When they cheat, they often feel vulnerable and are afraid to do things the right way because they want to avoid hurting others or getting hurt themselves.
No moral excuse or justification exists for cheating and hurting the people you are in a relationship with, regardless of the circumstances. The most sensible and conscientious decision to make is always to be honest and do things respectfully. If you are unhappy with someone, tell them, let them go, and then move things forward with another person.
Now that we understand that, the point of this discussion is to understand what causes someone with such high integral relationship standards to cheat (even though the reasons don’t justify bad choices). Some of those reasons are:
- They feel neglected and afraid.
- They have made an emotional attachment.
- They have an addiction.
Now let’s discuss these reasons in detail below:
They Feel Neglected and Afraid
ISFJs are highly attuned to noticing, accommodating, and accepting the emotions of others. When they are in a relationship, they give their partners all of themselves and always strive to make them happy. They are also expressive with their love, care, and protection, but sometimes, when it is not reciprocated, they tend to feel neglected.
They avoid expressing negative feelings because they want to avoid conflict, and they don’t want to feel rejected. They are afraid of being turned down and having their needs unmet, and they want to protect themselves from getting hurt further.
An ISFJ in this position might turn to cheating, especially with someone who meets their needs. It doesn’t matter whether the situation concerns physical or emotional neglect; they are often afraid to express when they feel neglected while doing everything to make the other person happy and satisfied.
They Have Made An Emotional Attachment
ISFJs are emotionally sensitive people and people-pleasers, which can be factors for cheating in relationships. An ISFJ will feel hurt by any words of criticism, negativity, and neglect. They tend to feel highly affected because they care deeply about those close to them. They thrive on having a good emotional connection with their partners.
ISFJs are also huge people-pleasers, and that is why they often do everything in their power to make everyone around them feel good, even if it means neglecting their own needs. Even if they feel an emotional disconnect from their partners, they will still do what is needed to make the other person happy.
When the same effort is not given to them by their partners, they naturally gravitate towards seeking it from others even if they don’t mean to cheat. Sometimes they will emotionally attach to someone outside their relationship and get really close to that person. They might develop feelings or seek that individual’s attention and affection more.
They do it because they feel a connection with the other person they don’t get from their partners. The people-pleasing, fear of hurting, avoidance of conflict, and empathy for their partner will cause them to hold back from discussing it with their committed partner. The ISFJ will lean towards emotional cheating instead.
They Have An Addiction
Many people from every personality can have a relationship of intimacy addictions. ISFJs with these addictions are generally inclined to cheat in their relationships. Addiction can look like it always needs to jump from one thing to the next. Once a relationship starts to feel “boring” and routine-like, they need another excitement. They require that “new and exciting” feeling.
Addiction can also be physical intimacy where the ISFJ feels the need to sleep with multiple partners and never feel satisfied. They want instant gratification and can’t seem to commit to one person. Remember that these habits are often the result of mental disorders like anxiety, depression, PTSD, and past traumas. Sometimes it’s because of peer or societal pressure to fit in.
Cheating should never be justified in these circumstances; however, only an unhealthy and emotionally unstable person will do it. They require psychological therapy for healing. These addictions can affect an ISFJs life and relationships, and they struggle to commit even if they genuinely want to.
The Unhealthy ISFJ And Cheating
You will realize from all the above information that ISFJs don’t always want to cheat. Sometimes their circumstances cause it. Cheating is a moral choice, and ISFJs who cheat often have lousy character, lack of self-control, and unhealthy behaviors. It differs from person to person.
Conclusion
All ISFJs do not cheat, but like every other personality, some choose to go down that road instead of being honest and seeking help when needed. ISFJs are typically loyal, committed partners, and take their relationships seriously.
