While ISTJs are one of the more common personality types – making up around 13% of the population – they remain one of the most misunderstood. Certain aspects of an ISTJ’s personality may cause them to appear to strangers as somewhat unpleasant. There are several reasons for this that can be explained mostly by the type’s dominant characteristics.
People with the ISTJ personality type tend to be reserved and practical. They are generally highly focused on the task at hand. They will rarely consider emotions, instead favoring logic and practicality overall. ISTJs may appear strict or unempathetic and sometimes fail to pick up on emotions.
Because ISTJs are so practical, logical, and frequently stubborn, they may appear to others as lacking empathy or social graces. Their approach to tasks will seldom consider the emotions of others, and ISTJs have little patience for laziness or ineptitude. While some may think of ISTJs as mean, they focus on achieving any given task to the best of their ability.
Why ISTJs Seem Mean (But Aren’t)
ISTJs are among the most common personality types out of the 16 listed under the Myers-Briggs personality type indicator. ISTJs make up approximately 13% of the population. Many people may think of ISTJs as mean, cold-hearted, and emotionless.
This is not an accurate description of this type of personality. Still, it is understandable why some people would perceive ISTJs this way. ISTJs tend to be extremely practical, quiet, and reserved. They prefer when everything is well-organized and ordered.
Any deviation from the plan will be upsetting to an ISTJ, and they will react with resistance to any deviations from the plan proposed by external parties.
ISTJs are extremely focused on the task at hand and generally do not allow anything to distract them. This might cause them to seem offish to anybody who tries to interact with them while they are occupied with a task.
Because ISTJs use logic when approaching any task, they tend to neglect the emotional aspects of the task. This can cause them to completely ignore the emotions of anybody involved in a task. This may cause them to appear as if they are completely lacking in empathy and emotion.
An ISTJ may fail to pick up on other people’s emotions in a room. This is not an intentional slight but may offend people nonetheless. An ISTJ is generally so focused on achieving any given task in the best and most efficient way possible that human emotion doesn’t even enter into the equation for them at any point.
This may result in the ISTJ coming off as mean to the people with whom they interact. People may feel as if their emotions were not considered or that they were completely ignored.
ISTJs generally have incredible self-control to complete any given task. As a result, they might look down on anybody who lacks the same level of self-control. An ISTJ might unfairly criticize somebody for not completing a task up to standard without considering that this person might be dealing with many other life challenges. This can come across as completely unsympathetic and downright mean.
Because an ISTJ is so focused on completing a task on time and in the best possible way, any underperformance by somebody else in their team will not be well-tolerated. An ISTJ may become extremely impatient and direct this at the person they think is underperforming.
ISTJ Weaknesses
ISTJs are strong-willed and hardworking. However, they can also be extremely stubborn and resistant to ideas that come from another person. ISTJs can be highly judgmental of other people, and their lack of consideration for emotions can quickly be seen as highly insensitive.
Because ISTJs are so task-oriented, they can also be very impatient with other people when trying to complete a project.
ISTJs can also seem unyielding and rigid due to their desire to follow the designated rules and procedures for any given task.
ISTJs And Relationships
In their relationships with other people, ISTJs may reveal their true emotional nature. ISTJs tend to keep their circles relatively small. They do not allow others in too easily and are very selective with whom they spend their time and with whom they are willing to share their energy.
While on the outside, an ISTJ may seem unemotional and uncaring, the opposite is true regarding those they love. ISTJs are exceptionally loyal and feel very deeply for those they care about. An ISTJ will go to extremes to keep their loved ones from harm.
While their expressions of affection may differ from those you would typically see in other personality types, they remain strong and true.
For example, ISTJs tend to be extremely security-conscious. They might obsessively take care of their family’s security needs. This may come across differently to some people. Still, it represents their deep care for the people in their life and their desire to protect them as far as possible.
An ISTJ’s expression of love may come about differently, but this does not take away from its sincerity or intensity. ISTJs often fail to pick up on emotional signals, which can come across as mean or inconsiderate to those they care about.
It’s important to recognize, however, that while it may appear that the ISTJ is not considering your feelings, they are simply looking at things differently. Because they make decisions largely based on logic and objective information, the emotional aspect of things may not even enter their consciousness.
A gentle reminder of the emotional perspective might be all it takes to remind the ISTJ of your emotional needs and how their behavior might come across to you.
Conclusion
A person with the ISTJ personality type can be seen as somewhat cold-hearted and mean to somebody who doesn’t know them. ISTJs are very caring, loyal, and loving to those closest to them. Still, strangers seldom see this aspect of the ISTJ’s personality. ISTJs are task-oriented and detail-oriented. They will make decisions based on logic, often without considering the emotional aspects of a situation.
