Understanding your personality type can teach you a lot about yourself and how your mind works, but it doesn’t always help you combat the feelings that come with that. If you often experience things like loneliness, you might be wondering why, and what you can do to stop it.
Many ISFJ people feel lonely, partly because they enjoy finding kindred spirits and feeling understood on a deep level. They tend to be less interested in having a big group of acquaintances, and instead thrive on a few deep connections. However, if they fail to find their connections, they may start to feel lonely. Fortunately, reaching out to others and socializing in healthy ways can help.
A lot of people wonder, are ISFJs lonely? but the answer is that they don’t have to be if they receive the right kinds of communication and connection from the people around them. There are plenty of things you can do to combat loneliness if you belong to this personality type.
Do ISFJs Like To Be Alone?
A lot of ISFJs do appreciate time alone, but they are not strict loners. This creates an immediate challenge, because they need to strike a healthy balance, where they feel that they are enjoying sufficient connections with the people around them, without being overwhelmed. An ISFJ does enjoy their own company, but wants to connect with others.
The connections also need to be fulfilling ones. An ISFJ will not be satisfied by shallow conversations and meaningless small talk; they want to connect with people on a much deeper level than this. This makes it more challenging for this personality type to find things that make them feel satisfied, because a lot of socialization is quite shallow.
So, the quick answer to “do ISFJs like to be alone?” is no, not necessarily – but they like their connections to be meaningful and deep, and they do value their own company too.
Tip 1) Assess Your Connections
If you’re an ISFJ and you find that you feel intensely lonely, the first thing to do is stop and take stock of your current situation. Do you have loved ones that you simply aren’t spending much time with because of certain circumstances in your life? Or are you lacking any meaningful connections?
If it’s the former reason, that could be a sign that you need to make an effort to spend some time with somebody you love as soon as possible. That might mean making time for a date night, going out for an evening with friends, watching a movie with someone you love, or heading to your favorite coffee shop with your best friend.
However, if you find that you’re actually lacking in connections, you can’t use these quick pick-me-ups, and you’ll need to turn to other strategies to start overcoming your loneliness.
Tip 2) Find Like-Minded People
There are lots of things that you can do to find like-minded people, even though loneliness is a big factor for many in our modern world. Often, joining a local group can work well. Think about your hobbies, and whether any of them are things that you could do socially.
For example, consider whether you might want to join a walking group, a board game society, a chess club, a programming class, a book club, a craft/hobby session, a sports society, or anything else. There are interest groups for a vast range of topics, so you should be able to find something you like, either in person or online.
This can help you to meet others who are like you, and will give you an easy “in” to the friendship because you’ll be able to bond with them while participating in a hobby that both parties enjoy.
Tip 3) Join Community Projects
A lot of ISFJs thrive when they are able to give something back to the community, and really enjoy feeling needed by others. If you’re part of a team that is involved in building, creating, and assisting others, you’re more likely to feel meaningfully connected with that team.
You will also get the sense of being needed, which can help ease feelings of loneliness and self-doubt. You’re more likely to meet individuals who care about similar causes, and you may be able to connect with them in other ways too, forming friendships over shared experiences.
Since ISFJs tend to love doing things for others, this can be a great way to lift your mood even if it doesn’t result in any deep connections with your teammates.
Tip
4) Engage In Self-Care
Although one of the effective ways to tackle loneliness is to make an effort to be around other people, it can be hard to do that when you’re feeling dejected and filled with self-doubt. It also takes time to forge the kind of deep bonds that ISFJs tend to seek, which means that you’re unlikely to find a quick-fix solution.
Sometimes, self-care is a better option, or can help in the interim while you work on the other suggestions. Take some time to spoil yourself, without worrying about other people. Go for a walk, read your favorite book, take pictures of things you love, play loud music and sing/dance, and spend some time with your pets (or other people’s pets if possible).
Because many ISFJs struggle with self-doubt and wonder if other people truly like them for who they are, it’s also a good idea to spend some time on positive affirmations. Give yourself a boost by listing your best qualities, and engaging in positive self-talk. If you find this hard, see if you can enlist the help of a trusted friend.
Conclusion
Many ISFJs suffer from feelings of loneliness at times, because they tend to prefer having a few meaningful connections over lots of friends. It’s important to take steps to counter these feelings and either remind yourself of the friendships you do have, or spend time building up new bonds with the people around you.
Reference Sources
https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/myers-briggs-type-can-feel-lonely/#h-the-isfj-and-loneliness https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/the-loneliness-of-each-myers-briggs-personality-type/#h-isfj-loneliness https://www.quora.com/Why-are-ISFJs-loners https://personalitygrowth.com/how-each-personality-type-handles-feelings-of-loneliness/
