INFPs look for meaning in life. They are non-judgemental and put work into getting to know their authentic self and others around them. INFPs are compassionate and caring idealists. Their creativity and artistic expression help them connect to the world around them. But, with so many exceptional personality traits, can the INFPs really seem mean?
INFPs may seem to be mean but aren’t. When expressing their opinion, INFPs won’t apologize for what they believe is right and if it aligns with their values. Their intense feelings make them harder to understand, and they are often misjudged as being mean.
Self-awareness and intense feelings of the INFP can be confusing to others. INFPs have strong beliefs and opinions and are often driven by these. They have a complicated inner world and often come across as mysterious and complex. Dominated by introversion, they aren’t very social. They prefer meaningful conversations over small talk, making it difficult to connect to them in some social settings.
Why Do INFPs Come Across As Mean?
INFPs are known as “healers” because of their compassionate nature and idealistic view of the world. They are spontaneous and have a flexible nature but can be misunderstood. INFPs can come across as mean because they generally internalize everything.
They are often daydreaming and perceived to be strange and unconventional. INFPs may drift off in social situations, as their minds are always busy. INFPs don’t intentionally want to be mean but are perceived as mean.
There is a slightly dark side to the INFP. INFPs are so strongly motivated by their values and idealism that they can be passive-aggressive. This can be seen when faced with too many challenges. These may be jobs that aren’t meant for them or failures in romantic relationships.
Because of their heightened sensitivity and a deep desire for creating a better world, they have a firm stance on what they believe in. Unfortunately, this can cause others to think they are mean, aloof, and dismissive.
If an INFP doesn’t seem to get back to you when you call them or zone out while in mid-conversation with you and cancel plans at the last minute, they aren’t being mean. They are just taking time to recharge their batteries. INFPs are introverted and enjoy time alone. They often avoid social gatherings and can be indecisive at times. INFPs love being home and spending time in solitude.
If your INFP best friend keeps canceling plans, don’t take it too seriously, it’s just part of their personality.
How Does INFPs Inadvertently Seem Mean?
INFPs seem to be mean for only a few reasons. Two of the most significant are if someone betrays one of their values or beliefs or if they are faced with a period in their life when they are highly stressed and unsatisfied with their current situation.
When speaking to an INFP, they will be open-minded and good listeners. They will be able to listen to opposing views and respect the other person’s viewpoint. They may, however, get mean if you violate their beliefs and values. Since INFPs operate with a strong value system, their values are significant to them. This often leads to conflict with people who do not have the same values and belief systems.
People who are pushy, overbearing, and inauthentic tend to annoy the INFP. The INFP dislikes highly critical people because INFPs don’t generally have a critical nature.
If an INFP has faced a lot of stress, they may be operating through using mostly their negative traits. These could be through passive aggression, not caring for others, sarcasm, and judging others. They will also withdraw into their own world if they are not ready to process and share their feelings.
The Contradictory Nature Of INFPs That Make Them Seem Mean
INFPs have a very contradictory nature. Their perceiving attribute with their judging function makes them both organized and flexible. But on the other hand, they are relatively indecisive and can be spontaneous. Besides these traits, they have a few more contradictory characteristics that make them seem mean.
- INFPs can be extraordinarily persistent or highly unmotivated. When an INFP is determined to get something done, they get it done. If it’s something they are passionate about, they are very admirable when working hard to reach their goal. But, at the same time, INFPs can be unmotivated. When placed in an environment that does not align with their imaginative and creative nature, they can be unmotivated and may struggle to accomplish tasks or lose interest in them.
- INFPs want to help others but avoid interacting with others. INFPs are helpers by nature and are always seeking to help other people. They also love staying in and avoiding overly crowded spaces. When an INFP is in social situations, they may be mean if they aren’t interested in the social gathering. They may also seem to be mean if they meet someone who they clash with, and these are typically people who are loud, arrogant, and domineering.
- INFPs can feel happy and sad at the same time. This is because INFPs are very sensitive and have lots of emotions. As a result, they can go through a range of different emotions in one day, often making it difficult for others to be around them.
Despite these contradictory elements, INFPs are old souls and possess a childlike easy-going nature. They are dedicated to those who matter to them and will always work towards making any relationship better.
INFPs also struggle to share their feelings and inner world with those closest to them. Those who know an INFP also know that they’ll quit if they aren’t happy doing something. They tend to avoid conflict, so even if they come across as mean, and it escalates into an argument, they will avoid conflict and instead give in to the other person’s viewpoint.
INFPs can go for days in isolation, not needing to go out and explore. Despite this, they are great at making friends and usually keep in touch with a close circle of friends.
Conclusion
INFPs may seem to be mean, but they are intuitive and sensitive in reality. This makes it easy for them to read other people and pick up if someone is being disingenuine. INFPs dislike people who display a façade, and their idealistic view of the world means they are often misunderstood.
