Why ESTPs Hate INFJs (And How Can We Get Closer)

There is a hateful affair between ESTPs and INFJs that consists mainly of ESTPs hating INFJS. In the personality community, it is known that ESTPs are one of the worst matches for INFJ, and they cannot get along well, but it makes you wonder – why do ESTPs hate INFJs, and is there anything they can do to get closer?

ESTPs resent INFJs because they are polar opposites. ESTPs are extroverts and feel the need to change the introverted INFJ. ESTPs are sensors that feel things in the present, whereas INFJs are logical thinkers, and ESTPs also get affected by INFJ perfectionism because it feels demanding to them.

ESTPs and INFJs are distinctly different personalities, and that can often clash. ESTPs don’t get along with INFJs and always feel the need to change them. In the details following, you will learn more about why they are that way.

Why Do ESTPs Hate INFJs?

There are several reasons why ESTPs and INFJs don’t get along. It is not necessarily to say that ESTPs hate INFJS (even though some do), but the two personalities are polar opposites and can clash. ESTPs dislike things INFJs do or resent some of their traits and behavior patterns because they disagree with them. 

ESTPs don’t always have evil intent. They often mean well and think that INFJs need to change because they would fit better into this extraverted-heaven world. But sometimes, their advice is not helpful, and INFJs don’t listen to it, which can upset an ESTP and cause friction between them. Below we have listed several reasons why ESTPs could hate or resent INFJs.

ESTPs Are Extroverts

ESTPs are extroverts, and INFJs are introverts, but ESTPs are also extroverted sensors, and INFJs are intuitive introverts. That means ESTPs are as extroverted as can be, which is the opposite of INFJS. Due to this, ESTPs often try to change INFJs and make them more extroverted because that is expected and accepted in society.

INFJs don’t and cannot conform to this because they desperately need their privacy and quiet time alone to process their emotions and thoughts and make sense of the world and people around them. INFJs will also withdraw and retreat inwards, sometimes leading to ignoring others until they feel ready to come out again. ESTPs hate this and want people to be available all the time.

ESTPs Don’t Think Abstractly

ESTPs don’t think abstractly or in hypotheticals. Their leading cognitive function does not reside in the subconscious, whereas it is that way for INFJs. ESTPs find it super challenging to understand how INFJs always retreat to overthinking. They also don’t like that INFJs are intuitive and can call outcomes precisely as they would, especially if the result doesn’t fit the ESTP’s idea.

ESTPs pragmatic and quicker solutions. They are conscious of their thought process and tend to be aware or think out loud. They can focus on the present idea and develop things as they see them. They get frustrated with INFJs, who are naturally in the thought process and require time to think through every scenario before making decisions or offering solutions.

INFJs Are Not As Expressive As ESTPs

INFJs are not very expressive. They don’t enjoy sharing feelings and talking about personal things, especially if they are not close to you. They are rarely close to ESTPs, so they will avoid voicing their opinions and showing emotion. This makes INFJs quite the mystery, and it drives ESTPs insane,

ESTPs are highly expressive and love to be open and feel the moment. They don’t overthink the consequences or care about others’ reactions and judgments. They can sometimes get into trouble for that or regret their actions later. They resent INFJs for being reserved and what seems as mature in expressing themselves around others.

INFJs Are Perfectionists

ESTPs are chilled, laid-back, and don’t take things too seriously. They are not very organized and are not fans of systems and routines. INFJs are major perfectionists. They thrive on systems and patterns. They love to be organized and have high standards and expectations of themselves and others.

ESTPs don’t like the idea of perfectionism in INFJs. It bothers them, and they can’t keep up with it. Sometimes INFJs can be pretty demanding of how they want things done or need things organized, and ESTPs hate feeling the effects of that. They want INFJs to take it easy, relax, and let go of the strict rules, but INFJs can’t seem to do that.

How Can ESTPs and INFJs Get Closer?

While it is incredibly challenging for ESTPs and INFJs to get along well without several clashes and disagreements, they can have a mutual understanding and act amicably with each other. Have a look at the following things ESTPs and INFJS can do to get closer:

• Be accepting of each other: both personalities need to understand that it is vital to accept each other. Instead of trying to change one another, accept each one as they are and embrace the differences.

• Focus on self-growth instead of the other person: If each personality focuses on self-development and bettering themselves instead of picking and constantly addressing the other’s characteristics, both will be more open to understanding differences.

• Compromise: it is essential to compromise, especially in a relationship, whether friendship, professional, or romantic. ESTPs and INFJs need to reach a mutual agreement where both types can learn to sacrifice and compromise specific things and hold more space for each other.

• INFJs should acknowledge ESTPs’ intentions: ESTPs’ intentions are usually meant helpfully, and if an INFJ recognizes that instead of shutting it down (even if they don’t take advice), ESTPs would appreciate that.

• ESTPs should appreciate INFJs approaches: it is not easy for INFJs to open up and be in extroverted settings, so when they do that, ESTPs should acknowledge and show appreciation instead of trying to get INFJs to give more than they feel comfortable with.

Conclusion

ESTPs don’t necessarily hate INFJs, but they dislike and resent many of their behaviors and traits because ESTPs are extroverts and opposite in every way of their personality to INFJs. They try to change INFJs to be more like them, and INFJs won’t have that – resulting in super annoyed ESTPs!