It certainly can be hard to imagine that a highly competent ESFJ, who fearlessly gets stuff done, can be afraid of anything or harbor deep-rooted fears that they might be oblivious to.
ESFJs are deeply afraid of being abandoned or unwanted by their loved ones or those they deeply care for. They are highly extroverted personalities who profoundly fear being alone. Their innate need to care for others is driven by their unconscious desire to prove they are good enough.
While it may seem clear why selfless ESFJs are afraid of certain things, these multi-faceted personalities require further scrutiny. So, if you want to know what makes them tick – read on!
ESFJ Myers-Briggs: Provider Personalities
With 12% of the population classified as ESFJ personality types, of which 17% are females, and a mere 8% are males, it’s the second most common in the US.
The ESFJ abbreviation denotes a person who likes interacting with people (Extroverted), focuses on hard facts, not concepts (Sensing), makes decisions based on their emotions (Feeling), and favors meticulous planning over spontaneity (Judging).
They are often referred to as Provider personalities, as they are sensitive to people’s needs and conscientious caretakers who are always focused on caring for others in practical ways.
ESFJs are diligent and enthusiastic about fulfilling their duties and able to gauge other people’s emotions and what others think of them as people. They have phenomenal people skills and an ability to collaborate with and assist others in creating a sense of harmony.
Conformist by nature, ESFJs value loyalty and often go above and beyond to assist their friends or family in their hour of need.
ESFJs care deeply for others, and their empathy for others affects them profoundly, to such an extent that they carry the burden of other people’s suffering as if it was their own.
They are meticulous planners capable of creating order out of chaos, so they tend to contribute significantly to managing organizations effectively or taking on roles where they can enforce or maintain social order.
ESFJs are ruled by a strong moral code, and they expect others to follow suit and to look at life in the same “black-and-white” way as they do, where everyone knows what is right or wrong, and they are adept at voicing these moralistic opinions.
In essence, ESFJs are practical and stoic characters who take their duties seriously and thrive in regulated environments with set routines, where they know what to expect and plan for.
ESFJ’s Greatest Fears
As previously mentioned, ESFJs care deeply about others, so it’s no wonder that one of their greatest fears is being deserted by a person they love or have built a strong bond with.
These abandonment issues stem from a fear of not being good enough, so ESFJs will go to exceeding lengths to demonstrate their usefulness to others and, as a result, place unnecessary pressure on themselves to be perfect in every sense of the word.
ESFJs are probably the most extroverted of all the personality types. Therefore, they constantly surround themselves with others and take care of them. So, being isolated or alone is frightening for any typical ESFJ personality.
Conscientious ESFJs are constantly trying to prove that they belong and are worthy members of their communities. Their constant need to help others and make them happy is driven by a fear of being unloved or unwanted by others.
So, while they are authentically kind and generous in caring for others, they are deeply insecure personalities who profoundly need to feel needed.
ESFJ Personality Growth Areas
While altruistic ESFJs possess noble aspirations, the following coping skills will aid their emotional well-being and allay their fears.
Create Boundaries
While ESFJs thrive on caring for others and find it highly rewarding, they absorb other people’s anxieties and concerns to such an extent that they overlook their own needs in taking on the burdens of others, which becomes emotionally draining.
So, they must learn to compartmentalize other people’s emotions and create healthy boundaries with those they want to assist, with the knowledge that you “can’t give with an empty cup.”
Practice Detachment
ESFJs tend to be arbitrators of the truth and ardently believe that they know what is morally upright. Therefore, they need to learn how to withhold judgment and allow for the fullness of time to gather more facts about a matter.
Avoid Constantly Pleasing People
These personality typesmust accept that they are good enough and can’t please people all the time, even if they go above and beyond to care for others.
Take On A Solitary Hobby
ESFJs become highly anxious if they are not in the company of others or able to speak to someone. So, taking up a solitary hobby or past-time is incredibly beneficial to people-dependent ESFJs as it promotes self-reliance and gives them time to reflect.
Study Laws
Law-abiding ESFJs are sticklers for abiding by rules and regulations without ever questioning their history or validity.
Therefore, studying the origin of these laws and exploring why they were instituted can radically broaden an ESFJs perspective and make them question their own firmly held concepts of justice and common sense.
More ESFJ Personality Traits
Now that you know more about these multi-faceted characters, here are a few more insightful ESFJ character traits:
- ESFJs are less inclined to have substance abuse issues.
- Possess outstanding stress management coping mechanisms.
- More likely than other personalities to believe in a higher spiritual power.
- Compared to others, they are the most inclined to be happily married.
- ESFJs are more prone to completing their college education than others.
- They are most likely to be satisfied with their co-workers and prefer working for structured organizations that provide a platform to be of service.
- ESFJs predominantly work in health care, educational, and religious professions.
Well-Known ESFJ Personalities
Renowned ESFJs include Barbara Walters, Sally Field, Martha Stewart, Dave Thomas, Ariana Grande, Sam Walton, William Howard Taft, Mary Tyler Moore, JC Penney, and Ray Kroc.
Conclusion
Selfless ESFJs are the glue that keeps society together, and most institutions would fall apart without their profound level of care and devotion.
However, their innate “need to be needed” stems from a deep-seated fear of being rejected or alone, which is sadly unwarranted as the world needs more caring ESFJs.
