When you’re in the company of the intense INTJ, you may suddenly start feeling twitchy and uncomfortable. One minute you’re having a relatively normal conversation, and the next, there’s an awkward silence, and you’re being treated to a gaze that could strip paint off a wall. If you’re not familiar with INTJs, it can be very disconcerting. Why do they do the death stare?
While it’s called the death stare, INTJs don’t always have malicious intentions toward people when they’re doing it. Although the death stare can mean anger, irritation, or disappointment, it can also signify that the INTJ is thinking, has tuned out, or is focusing on the person talking to them.
The intensity of the INTJ personality is reflected in the stare. It can come across as a blank expression, with the person seemingly lost in his mind, or as a burning gaze fixed intently on something or someone. What is going on their minds when they’re drilling holes into your soul with their eyes? Read on to solve the mystery.
The INTJ Death Stare And Why They Do It
The death stare might seem downright creepy and make you very uncomfortable. It could even offend you. But it’s a universal habit amongst INTJs, and you shouldn’t take it personally most of the time. It is possible that you could have caused it, but the chances are high that the stare might not have anything to do with you or anyone else in their vicinity.
The INTJ’s nature is the broader reason for the stare, with some of their traits giving us insight into its origin:
- Their introspection causes them to spend a lot of time thinking.
- They are often reflecting on impressions because of their introverted intuition.
- Their tendency to focus on the bigger picture, purposes, and the meaning of everything
- Those focused on values will often spend time trying to balance the differences between beliefs and behavior.
- They don’t enjoy superficial interactions and will probably withdraw from them.
INTJs develop the death stare because they are far more inwardly focused.
INTJs use the same stare for numerous reasons, so it isn’t easy to know which scenario is responsible for it at any given time. You can learn to interpret the stare by taking note of other cues, such as their mannerisms, posture, breathing, pacing, and clenching their jaws. Of course, if they are really upset, there might be some choice words to clarify the look!
The INTJ Death Stare Occurs When They’re Deep In Thought
INTJs often get lost in thought. So when you get the stare, it might just be an external sign that they have left the present circumstances for a journey to the center of their mind. Their focus is now inward, and they are alone with their best friends – their thoughts!
Depending on their mood, patience, and the seriousness of their inward focus, interrupting INTJs while they’re lost in their heads could be at your peril! As a rule, INTJs hate being disturbed while thinking or processing. They are also more likely to become irritated if the interruption is due to something they consider insignificant.
It’s always best to leave them to their contemplation when you notice the death stare replacing normal facial expressions. It’s their “Do Not Disturb” sign when they’re thinking.
Boredom Can Bring On The INTJ Death Stare
INTJs are not social butterflies and would far rather be on their own than in company most times. Anything that stimulates their mind and feeds their intellectual interests tops being forced to listen to the trivialities of random people.
If they’re in an unwanted social setting and the conversation is lame, and of little importance to the INTJ, the death stare may appear due to boredom. They would probably just check out of the current reality and turn their thoughts inward to escape the boring situation.
Staring Can Mean An INTJ Is Interested
Although we have just stated that the stare can result from boredom, strangely, it can also be due to the opposite situation. Somebody may have said something that interests the INTJ, or the speaker or someone in the vicinity may have sparked their interest.
When this happens, they focus intently on the person of interest or the matter at hand and shut out all else. Usually, the INTJ has no concept of how intense they appear when they wear the stare. It can be a little intimidating until you’re used to it.
If you’ve been trying to get them to notice you, this could signify that you’ve achieved your goal. In this instance, it’s a compliment! They may regularly treat you to the stare if you’ve sparked their interest because they’re giving you their full attention.
The Stare Can Indicate Mental Processing
There are times that an INTJ is simply thinking their deep and private thoughts. But other times, circumstances make INTJs do more than think. Sometimes they come with implications and emotions. In that case, they may retreat inside their heads to process the situation, problem, or new information.
During these times, the blank stare can again mean: “Do not disturb; I’m processing.” It’s a good time to respect their privacy and not try to force them to talk about the situation. They will appreciate the interest at a later stage, but leaving them alone at the time is best. If they consider you part of their inner circle, they might talk to you about it later.
The INTJ Stare Can Mean Impartiality
When people are talking about something that an INTJ considers irrelevant to themselves, or when it’s not something they are equipped enough to discuss, the shutters will come down, putting the death stare in place to indicate their impartiality in the matter.
INTJs won’t want to participate in the conversation or debate if it’s not interesting for them or if they don’t know enough about the topic. In the latter case, they may stick around to listen and learn about the matter.
The Death Stare Can Represent Intense Anger
While the stare can have benign causes like impartiality, the pendulum can swing the other way and reflect the intense anger of an INTJ. You will be left in no doubt that the expression is not benign in this instance! The stare won’t be blank. It will be burning right into you.
You will know that you’ve done something to anger or disgust the INTJ when you get that look. It’s one of the times when the expression deserves the title “Death Stare.” It might be accompanied by a shake of the head, an acid comment, or the INTJ walking out on you. It’s a look that cuts to the heart, especially when you care a lot for the person. Nobody wants to endure that withering glare!
The Death Stare Can Signify Utter Disappointment
The INTJ stare is a staple response when they feel let down by someone. When they’ve expected more from you or believe you threw them under the bus, the stare will have enough dark emotion to make you feel like pond scum!
If the transgression was severe in the INTJ’s eyes, they could also include a few icy sentences with the death stare to bump up the impact.
The INTJ Stare Can Mean Judgement And Disapproval
INTJs often have solid morals and values, which, in their minds, are the only possible ways to view those topics. When INTJs find themselves in the company of people whose opinions and actions contrast with their own, they will convey their disapproval and judgment with that stare. While it doesn’t imply that they hate you, you will know they are not impressed!
The INTJ Stare Could Imply Fascination With Someone
When they fix their eyes on someone with a burning intensity, it sometimes means that the person has sparked their interest or even attraction. They are fascinated and curious, wanting to know more and see more of this person of interest.
The INTJ may not realize how intense their gaze is when in this state of fascination, and often it might precede an action to get to know someone better or get closer to them. It could make the person of interest feel quite edgy and unsure of the situation, though. If you’re not familiar with the look or the INTJ personality, you may not pick up that this may be a compliment!
Given their introverted nature, it’s not guaranteed that you would immediately earn yourself anything more than the fascinated stare if they’re attracted to you. INTJs struggle to share their feelings coherently, especially at the beginning of a relationship. But if you tune into their other non-verbal cues, you may find something to work with if the attraction is mutual.
The Stare Could Mean The INTJ Is Being Tactful
The death stare could be an indication of diplomacy. Although INTJs don’t always care what other people think, sometimes they contain themselves for different reasons. They may try to be tactful when in conversation with people in authority or those they care about.
But inside, they are thinking, “that must be the stupidest thing I ever heard,” or “why are you wearing that?”
The INTJ Death Stare Could Be Intentionally Intimidating
Many INTJs know that people sometimes feel intimidated by their death stare. When they wish to escape from people who annoy or bore them, they may intentionally use the death stare on them, hoping they will go away.
INTJs Are Constantly Reading Between The Lines
INTJs are constantly drawing information from their environment, but they don’t just observe. They know there is nearly always more to what’s happening around them than meets the eye. The so-called death stare can also be a data-gathering mission to analyze situations and solve problems or mysteries.
The INTJ Stare Can Be A Response To Emotional Displays
INTJs are uncomfortable with emotional displays of tears, venting, and uninvited touching, hugging, or other forms of physical contact. They need their physical space and don’t appreciate people poking through their bubbles uninvited. INTJs are intensely private people and only allow their small circle of loved ones some physical affection and the privilege of knowing their emotions.
Everyone else who tries to impose on their privacy will get the death stare as they batten down the hatches to their souls.
The INTJ Death Stare Can Be Their Shocked Response
INTJs are perfectly organized and prepared. Before embarking on anything new, they need to know all the details. When life throws a curve ball at them, or you suddenly change plans without prior consent, it throws them off balance, and they don’t handle it very well. The response, of course, is the death stare. `
The INTJ Death Stare Can Be Introversion In Action
INTJs are usually intellectual and knowledgeable about many subjects. They also know their strengths and weaknesses, including their social awkwardness.
They are also aware that their thinking patterns are very different from most people around them, especially extroverts, and know they are likely to be misunderstood. Often they don’t want to waste their words on others!
INTJs don’t speak before they think. And then they think again. If something needs to be said and they know what they’re talking about, they will say it. But for the most part, they are the silent types.
Their introverted nature makes them people of very few words. What is left when you don’t speak much? Your facial expressions. And INTJs are usually not very animated, hence the look – the INTJ death stare! It’s their introversion in action, the sign of their personality type.
Conclusion
INTJs are highly intelligent, deep thinkers who tend to get lost in their own heads. One can understand why – there’s so much going on in there! They never stop thinking, analyzing, processing, and solving problems. And they have one thing in common – the death stare.
The death stare is an expression that’s a one-size-fits-all response. It’s a semi-permanent look on their faces that performs various functions. It can be intimidating, intentionally or not, or a subconscious reaction to anything happening around them or inside their heads. If you’re close to one, you will learn to understand all interpretations of the death stare; pleasant or not!
