INTJs are also known as Architects or Masterminds. They are Introverts, iNtuitive, Thinking, and Judging according to the Myers-Briggs 16 personality type. And while they may appear cool and aloof, most also desire love and companionship.
INTJs can be challenging to get to know or fully understand. They call a spade a spade or sometimes a damned shovel. But they are seldom as apparent with their feelings! If you don’t know what attracts INTJs, you may never pick up on their cues that you are actually the object of their affection! Here are some proven things that attract INTJs.
1. INTJs Are Attracted To Smart People
INTJs are typically intellectuals. They don’t have much patience for silliness or idle gossip. They are analytical, logical, and pursue knowledge with all their being, which makes them great problem solvers.
INTJs look for partners who are also deep thinkers, or they should be smart enough to have intelligent conversations and enjoy engaging in sensible discussions. Although they enjoy being with sharp-minded partners, they have no time for “know-it-alls.”
A person that presents a mental challenge to the INTJ is a sought-after treasure. They enjoy being with someone who can teach them new things. On the other hand, they like peeling back the layers of someone who intrigues them.
2. INTJs Want Loyal Partners
INTJs are incredibly loyal. Very little can break their loyalty to their significant other when they commit to a relationship. They are self-sacrificial to the nth degree when it is for the benefit of those they love.
With such devotion, it is imperative for an INTJ that a prospective partner reciprocates this type of loyalty. They appreciate people who are open about their feelings and expectations of where the relationship is headed.
INTJs are not interested in casual relationships or playing with their crush’s feelings to get what they want from the other person. When they commit to a partner, they are in it for the long haul and are attracted to those who feel the same way.
3. INTJs Value Honesty And Integrity
INTJs are not prepared to compromise on honesty and integrity. They believe a relationship based on anything else is not worth the trouble. INTJs are attracted to genuine people who are open about their flaws. Anything less is deceitful in their eyes, and they might consider it pointless because they would eventually figure them out anyway.
INTJs are notorious for sticking to their word, which is one way they show their commitment to their partners. They are attracted to like-minded people who keep their promises regardless of the cost to themselves.
Another character trait very attractive to an INTJ is the tendency to do the right thing even when, or especially when, nobody is watching.
4. INTJs Are Attracted To Kindness
INTJs are often misunderstood. Because of their apparent aloofness, blunt way of talking, and awkwardness regarding physical affection and emotions, others often assume that they don’t give a hoot about other people. This is entirely untrue.
When an INTJ includes you in their small collection of loved ones, they will almost kill you with kindness! Thus, they are very attracted to people who are kind and thoughtful, whether to them, other people, or animals.
INTJs find people who genuinely try to help others less fortunate than themselves very attractive.
5. INTJs Are Attracted To Authenticity
With INTJs, the cliché “what you see is what you get” is an overused way of describing one of their most important values. Although they may enjoy taking the time to get to know and understand you, INTJs want you to be real with them from the beginning. Trying to act a part to impress them is not attractive to INTJs at all. They are after whatever makes you you, including quirks and eccentricities.
6. INTJs Find Humility Attractive
Yes, they love intelligence and kindness in a prospective partner but don’t go telling them how clever, good, or kind you are. Don’t purposely toot your own horn or speak like you’ve swallowed a dictionary. If those really are your strengths, people will notice them without your boasting.
This is especially true of INTJs. Although they may not be your typical people’s person, not much gets past the analytical mind of an INTJ. And they don’t appreciate pretentiousness of any kind. Conversely, they find humility genuinely admirable.
7. INTJs Are Attracted To Confident Crushes
INTJs are usually aware that they intimidate many people with their blunt manner and social awkwardness, amongst other misunderstood traits. So when they meet someone self-confident enough to speak their mind and (sensibly and logically) argue their point, INTJs will quickly be drawn to that person.
Another aspect of confidence that INTJs appreciate relates to crushes who are open about their weaknesses. When they are vulnerable and honest about their flaws but don’t wallow in self-pity, it speaks of confidence in themselves, which is highly attractive to an INTJ. INTJs don’t want relationships with people who dissolve into puddles of tears and self-pity because of their mistakes.
8. INTJs Value Those Who Respect Their Independence
INTJs will easily believe they have found their soulmate when their crush displays an understanding of their introversion and independence. Someone who understands that they need their time alone to recharge and stay sane will be like a precious gem in the eyes of an INTJ.
INTJs are not social butterflies and will often avoid social gatherings. People sometimes assume that they are snobbish, rude, or even depressed. In reality, being alone is how they relax, recharge, and make sense of life. Those who don’t understand this ply them with questions and try to get them to “talk about it to feel better.”
The precious gems give them their space and alone-time because they understand that it’s part of their personality, not a symptom of a deep-seated problem. INTJs find this a desirable trait in a potential partner.
9. INTJs Are Drawn To Those Who Trust Their Advice
INTJs are analytical. They are well-read and knowledgeable about many subjects. They do a lot of thinking and research to learn everything they can about a topic that interests them.
When you have an INTJ’s stamp of approval as a potential partner, they care very much about your well-being. This sometimes translates into them giving you well-meaning critique to improve your situation, solve your problem, or do something better.
Of course, many people become offended by what they perceive as the INTJ’s harsh criticism. But it is very attractive to an INTJ when the prospective partner trusts their advice and puts it into action. If it were possible, they would get warm and mushy. Instead, they grow a head taller before carrying on finding other ways to help you!
10. INTJs Love Innovative And Creative People
INTJs are perpetually thinking about everything. They’re making plans to improve things in the world. When they meet people with great practical plans to solve problems or improve situations, INTJs are immediately drawn to them because they can learn from these like-minded individuals.
11. INTJs Are Attracted To Open-Mindedness
Because INTJs are thinkers and well-read, they have very solid theories on nearly everything. They gladly share these opinions with those they deem capable of understanding them.
Some people may find the INTJs domineering or aggressive when explaining their ideas or reasoning. But those who are open to INTJs’ ideas and solutions have a special place in their hearts because they “get” them.
If you’re willing to step into complex discussions on abstract topics, you will win the heart of an INTJ.
12. INTJs Find Rationality And Logic Attractive
INTJs make decisions based on logic and what has worked successfully in the past. They tend to look down on those that make decisions based on their feelings. Thus, others who base their decisions on facts are attractive to INTJs.
13. INTJs Love A Sense Of Humor
INTJs often have a dry, witty sense of humor, sometimes even quite dark. Their jokes are usually clever, and they love puns and word humor. But because it’s not simple, slapstick comedy, only people who understand what’s happening in an INTJ’s head will usually enjoy their humor. When they find love interests who appreciate their humor, they are immediately attracted to them.
14. INTJs Are Attracted To Your Genuine Interest In Them
Often INTJs fumble when trying to get to know their new love interest. They find the initial conversations with their crushes hard in the beginning. So, what draws them to you will be how you draw them out.
Ask them things about themselves, and try to find out what makes them tick. Give them the chance to give you long answers to your questions. They will appreciate your interest, boldness, and conversation starters. While you are peeling back the layers of this introverted personality, it allows the INTJ to turn the questions back to you, so they can start getting to know you better too.
15. INTJs Find Straightforwardness Attractive
INTJs are not always in tune with other people’s feelings and needs. To get something like this across to an INTJ, you need to be specific and direct. Most INTJs will admit that they don’t pick up subtle signals. You should tell them exactly what you need or what is upsetting you. Passive-aggressive behavior is wasted on INTJs. So are hints. Just tell them what you need.
While your needs and issues may differ from theirs, they still care about your feelings, especially if they’ve had some help understanding them. INTJs see being direct as an admirable quality in those they have their eye on.
16. INTJs Are Attracted To Depth Of Character
INTJs tend to avoid shallow people with questionable morals and values. They are impressed by those who are not superficial or selfish. INTJs believe in treating people fairly and appreciate those who act with justice.
They also value others who are hardworking and diligent because the INTJ has a strong work ethic and expects their significant other to be the same.
17. INTJs Find Accepting Partners Attractive
INTJs love a partner who is accepting of their personality’s quirks. They find it attractive when their significant other doesn’t try to change them, “make them come out of their shell,” or try to get them more in touch with their feelings.
They don’t enjoy pushy partners but are attracted to those who coax them gently past their boundaries to grow in areas where they are generally uncomfortable.
18. INTJs Value Non-Controlling Partners
INTJs are quite set in their ways and their thought patterns. They need their space and the freedom to choose to participate in social engagements or not. They value partners who understand their need for independence and don’t try to control them.
19. INTJs Click Well With Other Pragmatists
INTJs can be seen as “pragmatic idealists!” This oxymoron may sound impossible, but this personality is always thinking of how they can make improvements in all spheres of life. However, they’re not just dreamers. They look for practical solutions to problems and base their thinking and planning on ideas that have been proven successful in the past.
With this in mind, they are attracted to practically-minded people who base their decisions on facts, history, and logic the same way they do. INTJs can be condescending towards other personality types who think and make decisions based on their feelings.
20. Sometimes INTJs Are Attracted To Extroverted Types
Sometimes INTJs are attracted to more extroverted personalities like ENFPs or ENTPs. They have enough opposite traits to bring balance to an INTJs life. Sometimes the attraction comes because extroverted personalities are refreshingly different from the INTJ’s solitary nature.
They are attracted to the warmth, genuineness, and transparency of ENFPs.
ENTPs attract INTJs because they are usually funny, witty, knowledgeable, and can hold intelligent conversations.
21. Actions Speak Louder Than Words For INTJs
INTJs are impressed by people who walk the talk. They are unimpressed by credentials, family names, fame, status, materialism, power, and success, to name a few. We have mentioned that they look for people with a depth of character, and part of this involves action.
They don’t enjoy people who blow out a lot of hot air. INTJs will be attracted to you if they see that you set goals and achieve them. They will be drawn to you when you get down and dirty to improve the lives of others. If you are not superficial and live out what you believe, you will make a good impression on an INTJ, and they will consider you a good potential partner.
22. INTJs Appreciate Others Making The First Move
INTJs value their love interests making the first move when it comes to new relationships. They tend to feel awkward and uncomfortable with their feelings and fumble while relationships are still fresh. So when their love interest is direct in organizing first dates, or even the first few dates, letting them know what to expect and that there is no pressure on them, they will be drawn to them.
It shows an understanding of their personality and that you are aware that they are not cold and uncaring. The fact that you’re staying around long enough to want to date them indicates that you’re worth pursuing.
