Are you wondering how you can attract someone who’s an ESFJ? Lots of people are looking for partners with certain personality categorizations as a way of increasing the chances of compatibility, but do you know how do to this? What can you do to make yourself seem like a great partner to one of these people?
There are quite a few things you can do to attract an ESFJ. Thoroughly understanding the ESFJ personality type is a great start, as this will give you insight into the things that matter to them. More practical steps include things like demonstrating good listening skills, being sincere, and being helpful.
If you think you’d suit someone with this personality type, understanding what makes them tick and what they need in their partner will be really useful. So, let’s learn about the kinds of things you should do!
Step 1) Ask Yourself, What Do ESFJs Look For In A Partner?
ESFJs tend to look for quite a few different things in their partners, but sincerity is high on the list. They want to know you’re someone they can count on when the going gets tough, they want to know you’re there for them, and they want to know that you mean what you say. An ESFJ likes to have a partner that they can rely on.
The ESFJ personality type tends to be very caring and loyal, and that means they look for similar characteristics in their partners. If you can be there for them through thick and thin, you’re more likely to make a great match!
You should also be an attentive partner, who pays attention to what your ESFJ is feeling as much as possible. Because this personality type is a very giving one and will want to satisfy your needs whenever they can, you should make sure you’re giving back and supporting them. Otherwise, they may end up neglected and unhappy.
Most ESFJ types love being publicly acknowledged and appreciated by their partners. They tend to depend on external validation, and will look to others for praise and admiration.
In some cases, these people will try too hard to be perfect, so bear this in mind and balance it with your ability to be a good support system and a champion of their successes. You’ll have a much happier relationship if you’re able to speak warmly about the things you admire in them, and to tell them how much they mean to you frequently.
Finally, a lot of ESFJs are attracted to people who are unique and unafraid to show some unusual qualities. They are inspired by creativity and passion, and will gravitate toward individuals who are “different” in some way from the norm.
Step 2) Be Charming
Because ESFJ tends to have a big social battery, you may not find it very hard to meet them, and if you can be sweet, charming, funny, and extroverted, you’ll make a great first impression! You might do things like holding open doors, fetching things, buying them drinks, etc. This feeds into the desire for public acknowledgment and admiration.
Remember to show some of your unique personality as you get to know them. Talk about the things you love, share your passions with them, and be enthusiastic. Tell stories about your childhood or other parts of your life that you think they’ll find amusing.
You’ll soon find that they open up to you and reciprocate. You’ll start to create inside jokes that you can share, and then you’re well on your way to having a good relationship. Never underestimate the value of a funny story!
Step 3) Prove You’re A Good Listener
Demonstrating that you’re a good listener is key to winning an ESFJ’s heart. Pay attention to the things they tell you, and make signals that show you are listening, such as nodding, asking questions, and sharing relevant stories yourself.
You can take this to the next level as your friendship progresses, by doing things that they’ve said they enjoy, or (if appropriate), buying gifts that you know they will like based on the things they have said. Prove you remember the things they’ve told you and make a point of referring to things that are important to them.
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4) Be Helpful
If you’re wondering, what do ESFJs need in a relationship, one of the top answers is: helpfulness.
ESFJs will really appreciate partners who are willing to support them and give them a hand, particularly in practical areas. You don’t have to be the world’s best handyman (or handywoman), but being prepared to help when you can and looking for ways to support them are key.
A lot of ESFJs will struggle to ask for help when they need it, which is why it’s important to pay attention to them and their current challenges. You should be willing to reach out and offer assistance where you can! This is a great way to demonstrate that you care about them and that you pay attention to them, which is very attractive.
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5) Be Kind And Understanding
Because many ESFJs are perfectionists, it’s not a good idea to tease them too much – they won’t like it. Avoid making jokes at their expense, criticizing them over trivial things, or telling them that they worry too much. Don’t patronize them, call them cute, or otherwise imply that they are “less than” you.
Instead, show that you appreciate their qualities and admire them. Remember, this personality type really likes other people to show they like them, so don’t couch your admiration for them in camaraderie and pretend indifference – they’ll quickly move on to someone else, and leave you in the dust.
Conclusion
As you can see, attracting an ESFJ comes down to understanding this personality type and what makes them “tick.” They love creativity, uniqueness, and passion. Show them that you care about their welfare, engage with the things that they enjoy, and verbally appreciate them, while avoiding any jokes that may bring them down or make them feel criticized.
Reference Sources
https://www.psychologyjunkie.com/how-to-impress-each-myers-briggs-personality-type/#h-the-esfj https://high5test.com/esfj-relationships/
https://personalitygrowth.com/esfj-flirting-dating-how-to-attract-an-esfj/ https://www.simplypsychology.org/esfj-personality.html
https://www.sosyncd.com/15-most-common-esfj-weaknesses/ https://esfjblog.tumblr.com/post/159683927029/loving-the-esfj-in-your-life
