ISTJs often carry the stereotype of being cold, emotionless human beings, but this is far from the truth. They are deeply emotional and sensitive, but they carefully choose the people with whom they share these feelings. They are also not very physically demonstrative. But ISTJs also crush on others and fall in love. How do they express interest in others, and how do ISTJs flirt?
ISTJs don’t flirt in the lighthearted way that others do. They carefully analyze their crush, and if they think they have long-term relationship potential, they communicate their feelings directly, if a little awkwardly. They show they care by getting to know the person and doing things for them.
ISTJs usually don’t feel comfortable discussing their emotions. They also take relationships very seriously. Whereas some personality types may tease their crushes, wiggle their eyebrows, and whisper sweet nothings to them, the ISTJ often considers these behaviors silly and inappropriate. But they also become attracted to people. How do they show themselves on their crush’s radar?
How ISTJs Flirt
Flirting is a signal we use to let others know that we are attracted to them. Most of us don’t immediately declare our undying love for a crush. Sometimes that’s because we are unsure of their feelings for us, and other times because the fun of teasing them and getting a reaction is irresistible. It’s always lighthearted. But ISTJs don’t take matters of the heart lightly. So what is an ISTJ to do?
Characteristics Of An ISTJ
ISTJS are analytical, practical, loyal to a fault, dependable, devoted, and honor-bound. They are also calm, not very emotional, introverted, and often shy. Yes, they have emotions, but they aren’t comfortable expressing them at the beginning of a relationship. They don’t allow their emotions to control their lives and rely on their intelligence and common sense to guide them.
Most ISTJs want a romantic partner that will stay with them forever. They take no interest in casual flings, one-night stands, or dating without intending to stay together for the long haul. The primary goal of dating is always to find their forever person.
When an ISTJ is interested in you, their expression of it may not feel like typical flirting. But they have their methods of getting the message across. Sometimes you will pick it up in their utter awkwardness in getting said message across to you.
What ISTJs Do When They Like You
When an ISTJ decides they like you (yes, they do decide to do so), they will rearrange their schedule to include spending more time in your vicinity. They won’t outwardly confess their interest until they are dead sure that you are interested and as serious as they are about the relationship.
At the same time, ISTJs don’t play games with other people’s emotions and don’t lead others on. They also are not interested in others who flirt often or don’t consider other people’s feelings.
ISTJs Gather Information About Their Crushes
ISTJs don’t always keep their feelings for somebody a secret. They approach their love interest and ask them tons of questions to get to know them. They devour any information they can find about their crush from friends, family, and social media. Except when they spend hours in deep conversation with their love interests, they do most of their investigating covertly.
Their covert research is not meant to be creepy. When an ISTJ is interested in somebody, they do everything in their power to get to know them to decide whether they will be a good long-term partner.
If the ISTJ’s love interest is new to their environment, they might devise plans to spend very short times in conversation, especially if they’re shy. They might have a mental list of things they need to discover in those few minutes.
ISTJs Evaluate Their Crush’s Suitability
Before giving any indication of their feelings to their potential partner, flirting, if you will, ISTJs analyse how you would fit in with their standards and values. They weigh up whether you are likely to commit to a permanent relationship.
ISTJs usually have a strict moral code and traditional ideas of relationships and gender roles. They will disqualify you if you are too different in your thinking and behavior. If you pass the analysis, the ISTJ will decide to love you until the end.
ISTJs Send Mixed Signals When They Flirt
ISTJs could start flirting with various responses to being in your presence.
- They might avoid or ignore you due to nervousness or because they might still be sussing you out.
- They might make prolonged eye contact to get a clue about your feelings.
- ISTJs could talk to somebody you are with while barely acknowledging you.
- They might also corner you for some slightly awkward question-and-answer sessions.
- ISTJs may make small jokes at your expense or tease a bit, but it’s not their primary way of showing you they care.
- They might say good things about you to others in your absence to get additional intel.
- They hide their feelings until they’ve made up their minds about you. Then, they either blurt out their feelings awkwardly to relieve their inner chaos, or they become paralyzed and hope that the crush will pick up their subtle cues.
ISTJs Flirt By Doing Things For You
The primary method that an ISTJ uses to flirt or show affection is by seeing to all your needs. They take note of whether you are tired, hungry, stressed, or frustrated. They want you to be happy, comfortable, and not lack for anything. They will do things like making you a meal, doing some chores so that you can rest, or anything that will make your life easier.
If you have a problem, ISTJs will do their level best to solve it for you. Sacrificing their own time and resources for a love interest’s well-being is standard for an ISTJ. If you wonder why they are going out of their way for your benefit, this introvert has likely set their sights on you.
They are protective of their partners, sometimes overly so, and will do their utmost to ensure their safety and happiness.
ISTJs Flirt By Putting Effort Into Romance
It may take them some time to initiate a date, but they will put a lot of effort into it and make sure that everything goes according to plan so that you will be happy and feel loved. They will probably invite you on traditional type dates, like dinner and a movie, or a picnic at sunset, but with all the bells and whistles they can muster.
Although they may not be naturally inclined to discuss their feelings or show physical affection, particularly PDA, if they realize that it is important to their partner, they will put all their efforts into doing it for their sake.
Conclusion
Although ISTJs are not typically flirtatious, they might be closet romantics. Once they’ve decided on you as their life-mate, they will do their utmost to make you happy for the rest of their life. Commitment and faithfulness are central to their values.
If you find an ISTJ partner, you will be forever grateful, because you will likely spend your life with somebody that only wants your happiness and pursues every avenue to ensure it. Long live ISTJs!
