If you have ever met a straight-talking, abrasive ESTJ who seemed devoid of any humanity, it’s only natural to wonder whether they also have the capacity to be nice and kind people.
ESTJs can be nice and kind; they have different ways of showing that they care. They are fair-minded and believe they know what is best for people and the correct course of action. However, ESTJs are not emotionally astute, so they are tactless and insensitive sometimes.
Although ESTJs are devoted to the people they care about, they struggle to express their feelings. So, if you want to reach out to an ESTJ and improve their interpersonal skills – read on!
ESTJ Myers-Briggs: Supervisor Personalities
So, what does the ESTJ abbreviation mean, you might ask?
It describes a person who likes socializing with others (Extraverted), deals with facts, not concepts (Sensing), makes decisions based on their reasoning skills (Thinking), and favors careful planning instead of impulsiveness (Judging).
It is the fifth most prominent character type in the US as 9% are classified as ESTJ personalities, of which 11% are males and a mere 6% are females.
ESTJs are commonly known as Supervisor-type personalities due to their intrinsic drive to lead others, enforce their organization’s rules and regulations, and their commitment to meet and exceed their employer’s expectations.
ESTJs are energetic, diligent, conformists, rule-abiding, and hard-working personalities who like to get things done in an organized and systematic way.
Known for their integrity, dependable ESTJs uphold the same standards for themselves and their employees, and they are highly respectful of their superiors and follow orders to the letter.
ESTJs do everything by the book as the “gatekeepers of society” and abide by their country’s laws, ordinances, and their company or employer’s core values.
They are highly competent managers with phenomenal organizational skills, adept at taking the lead and formulating policies and procedures that are logical and structured.
While ESFJs are recognized for their strong work ethic, their perfectionistic tendencies often culminate in their contempt for colleagues who they believe are not as diligent or ambitious as they are.
Furthermore, ESFJs are often incapable of being open to opposing ideas or seeing other people’s points of view as they are mostly headstrong and inflexible characters.
However, they are devoted to their families and deeply committed to taking good care of them. Therefore, ESTJs are reliable providers who uphold traditional family values and prefer well-established daily routines and organized households.
Although ESTJs may be domineering partners, they get frustrated with their partner’s emotional displays as it is strident with their logical and controlled way of life. They thrive in relationships where their partners value their traditional family values.
Are ESTJs Good People?
ESTJs live by their stringent core values that inform their rigid beliefs in the right course of action for themselves, the people they lead, and society at large.
In essence, they are fair-minded, idealistic personalities who always endeavor to be morally upright and decent. Thus, from that perspective, they are fundamentally good people who are not governed by malicious intentions.
However, while their intentions are noble and for the “common good,” ESTJs are prone to be bombastic at times and lack finesse or sensitivity to other people’s feelings.
ESTJs in leadership roles are also not comfortable with delegating tasks in their workplaces, and their need to dominate and control often leads to micromanaging their teams, especially in hierarchical and competitive organizations.
How ESTJs Demonstrate Kindness
Although ESTJs always strive to care for those they love, kindness often falls by the wayside in their fervent need to achieve their goals and streamline efficiencies in every sphere of life.
ESTJs are not emotionally expressive and may equate kindness with mushy sentimentality that has no place in their “black-and-white “perception of life where decisions are made based on cold hard facts.
In an ESTJs world, improving people’s lives logically or tangibly is an act of kindness or showing that they care about someone.
However, regrettably, their poor EQ and abrasive communication style come across as tactless and convey a message of: “it’s my way, or the highway” to those they care about.
ESTJ Personal Growth Areas
ESTJs, like most people, have strengths and weaknesses that need to be addressed to aid their personal development. So, here are a few practical ways ESTJs can improve their emotional well-being and interpersonal skills.
Avoid snap judgments: while ESTJs are decisive, and it can be a useful skill, especially in a business, their ability to make quick decisions is often based on false assumptions before they know all the details. So, ESTJs should ask more questions and make prudent decisions based on facts.
Learn to live and let live: ESTJs often battle to understand that their way of thinking or belief is not perfect and that other people may also provide valuable input.
Therefore, it’s important for ESTJs to work on being more open-minded and flexible in their efforts to collaborate with other people.
More introspection: these personalities are prone to thinking that they have the moral high ground and that their beliefs are universally held, and that they make fair, objective decisions.
However, ESTJs could benefit from being more self-critical and start questioning their firmly held beliefs.
Explore their emotions: although ESTJs possess many laudable qualities and skills, they lack emotional intelligence and interpersonal skills. So, it’s important that they learn to acknowledge and embrace their own feelings and that of others.
While ESTJs will deem their blunt communication style as “not personal’, it can be deeply upsetting for subordinates or family members and ultimately lead to estrangement. So, it’s vital that ESTJs learn to verbally acknowledge their profound appreciation for the people they hold dear.
Rest and relaxation: workaholic ESTJs must make a concerted effort to take it easy in life and schedule leisure time to manage their excessive stress levels, with the knowledge that humans need time to recharge.
So, ESTJs could benefit from a refreshing vacation that is not jampacked with activities or practicing meditation, tai chi, or yoga to restore equilibrium.
Interesting ESTJ Character Traits
So, now that you know a little bit more about these people, here are a few more insightful ESTJ personality traits that speak volumes about these complex characters.
- Other prominent Myers-Briggs character traits include being enthusiastic, self-satisfied, content, practical, and prejudiced.
- ESFJs are overwhelmingly Type A personalities who continuously strive for perfection.
- ESTJs had some of the highest coping scores compared to other Myers-Briggs personalities.
- They are predominantly more content with their work and marriages than most other personality types.
- ESTJs are primarily among the top four personality kinds in college GPA and are the least likely to drop out of college or attempt suicide.
- Their most profound core values include their health, financial stability, achieving success, and a level of prestige.
- ESFJs mainly work as financial managers, business owners, and in the banking sector.
Conclusion
ESTJs are ruled by a stringent moral compass that informs their rigid beliefs. While their intentions are mostly noble, their tactless communication does not make them stereotypically nice and kind people.
