For the most part, ESFJs and ISFJs are very similar people. Both personalities are very caring, and they will always attempt to put people first. They also thrive on deep, meaningful connections with people. There is one big difference between the two, though. ESFJs are extroverted, and ISFJs are extroverted. So, how do you tell which one you are?
On this page, we’ll help you determine whether you are an ESFJ or an ISFJ (we’ll assume that you are already familiar with both personality types).
Am I ESFJ or ISFJ?
Put simply – you are an ESFJ if you are a very extroverted person and enjoy talking to others. You are an ISFJ if you prefer to listen, and generally avoid small talk.
Think about how you behave as a person. If you actively seek discussion with others, and you have absolutely no issues chatting with strangers, then you are an extrovert. This means that you are an ESFJ.
On the other hand, ISFJs tend to do best on their own. They would prefer to curl up on the sofa and read a good book, completely shut off from the world. They will rarely go out and seek a discussion with somebody. If they choose to talk to somebody, then chances are the person they are chatting to has shown interest in a passion or hobby that the ISFJ has.
Hopefully, you already have an idea whether you are introverted or extroverted, so it shouldn’t be too tricky to work out what category you are in.
Over the next couple of sections, we’ll help you to narrow things down a little bit more. This way, you can be sure whether you fit into the ESFJ or ISFJ category.
5 Signs You Are Not An ESFJ
Let’s start with the signs that you probably aren’t an ESFJ. Remember, there is a lot of overlap between ESFJs and ISFJs. Almost all of the differences between the two are focused on how a person deals with social situations, as well as the wider world.
You Prefer to Be Alone
ESFJs live for social situations. It is how they recharge their energy. Take an ESFJ away from social situations for a very short while, and it will be incredibly irritating for them.
ESFJs are willing to strike up a conversation with just about anybody. You may even see them talking to random strangers (although, like ISFJs, they do still feel more comfortable talking to those closest to them).
If you prefer to lock yourself away for days on end without talking to a single person, then you are probably an ISFJ.
You Are Very Guarded About Your Thoughts
While an ESFJ is not going to dump every single thought they have on a person right away, they are less guarded about what they say than an ISFJ.
Some people claim that ISFJs are incredibly difficult to know. In an ISFJ’s mind, they are only going to say something if it has value. If one of their thoughts isn’t immediately applicable to the current situation, then they are going to lock them away. It is incredibly difficult to get an ISFJ to share anything about their personal lives, even once you get to know them.
ESFJs are not going to be sharing their deepest, darkest secrets with you. Not immediately, at least. However, they are less rigid in their conversations. They are fine with small talk, for instance. They’ll even be happy to tell you how their day went.
Social Situations Drain You
If you always get tired after a social situation, then chances are that you are not an ESFJ. You’re an introvert.
If you were an ESFJ, social situations would fuel you. Being constantly exposed to other people is the only way to recharge your batteries, and sitting at home alone will make you feel terrible.
You Are Very Sensitive To Harsh Environments
ISFJs are incredibly sensitive to their environment. We don’t just mean noise either.
Many ISFJs claim that bright lights and a lot of movement really annoy them. If you are much more comfortable sitting in a darkened room, then you may just be an ISFJ.
You Don’t Like Casual Conversations
If you can’t have a conversation about ‘nothing’, then you probably aren’t an ESFJ.
ISFJs tend to only talk when there is a point to the conversation. They won’t chat about their career, family, etc. unless they see value in what they are saying.
5 Signs You Are Not An ISFJ
Now, let’s take a look at what could be a sign that you are not an ISFJ.
You Make Quick Decisions
Both ISFJs and ESFJs make incredibly calculated decisions. They are famed for it. However, ISFJs will often put a lot more thought into any decision that they are making.
ESFJs will often make incredibly quick decisions. While they may still think the decision through (all positive outcomes), their decision-making is likely to be less successful than the decision-making of an ISFJ.
You Thrive in Group Settings
ISFJs prefer one-to-one conversations. At a push, they may handle an extra person in that room. But, as soon as the group starts to get too big, the ISFJ will shut down. You’ll barely get a word out of them.
You Enjoy Small Talk
If you love talking about the weather, random bits of news, your career, etc. then you probably are not an ISFJ.
As we said before, ISFJs always look for meaningful conversations. They also try to make those conversations as short as possible.
If you regularly find yourself talking about everything under the sun, then you’re much more likely to be an ESFJ.
You Care Heavily About People’s Perception Of You
Both ISFJs and ESFJs care heavily about people’s perceptions of them. However, ESFJs tend to care more about those closest to them, while ISFJs will focus on everybody.
If you regularly find yourself dwelling on a random person’s perception of you, then you may just be an ISFJ.
You Are Content With Listening
ISFJs are great listeners. They don’t do so much talking. So, if you are often trying to take a key role in a conversation, you’re more likely to be an ESFJ.
Final Thoughts
While ISFJs and ESFJs have very similar personalities, they are majorly different in one key area – how they talk to people. If you thrive in social situations, you’re probably an ESFJ. If you are more content being alone, then you probably fall into the ISFJ category.
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