Your typical INFJ is characterized by empathy, authenticity, and a truth-seeking nature. INFJs are generally kind-hearted, empathetic people who can be relied upon to tell the truth as far as possible. As a general rule, INFJs will try – with respect – to understand the points of view of others. However, the INFJ described here is the healthy, fully evolved type.
INFJs are not inherently narcissistic people. True narcissists are incapable of exhibiting real empathy, while INFJs are generally associated with empathy being one of their most significant personality traits. However, an unhealthy, dysregulated INFJ can exhibit some narcissistic characteristics.
Despite a general demeanor of happiness, kindness, and empathy, not all INFJs can be operating at full capacity at all times. Certain factors can have a major impact on their current state. Stress is a major contributing factor to causing an INFJ to become dysregulated or unhealthy, causing them to exhibit certain traits that can be confused for narcissism.
Can An INFJ Be Narcissistic?
While some argue that anybody can be a narcissist, INFJs are generally not associated with narcissism. This is mostly due to their inherently empathetic nature, something narcissists are generally considered incapable of possessing.
According to the 16 personalities website, “An Advocate (INFJ) is someone with the Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging personality traits. They tend to approach life with deep thoughtfulness and imagination. Their inner vision, personal values, and a quiet, principled version of humanism guide them in all things.”
This brief description encapsulates everything an INFJ ought to be. Most of these characteristics are opposite in nature to the typical traits of a textbook narcissist.
However, the textbook definition of an INFJ refers to a healthy, evolved INFJ in a regulated state. Not all INFJs have developed sufficiently within themselves or come to know themselves to a large enough degree to allow them to show the positive characteristics of this personality type at all times.
Several sets of circumstances and certain events can potentially cause an INFJ to become unhealthy within their personalities. This can cause them to exhibit undesirable traits, some of which can be perceived as narcissistic.
There is a major correlation between introverted people and the INFJ personality type. With this in mind, unhealthy INFJs can show signs of covert/introverted narcissism. INFJs and covert narcissists tend to share introverted personality traits, and so there can be some confusion as to which camp they fall into.
INFJs and covert narcissists have also, in most cases, had a similar upbringing. This upbringing is generally associated with having narcissistic parents. What makes two different people raised by the same narcissistic parents turn out differently? Nobody can be too sure. However, an INFJ raised by narcissistic parents may show several signs of narcissism, similar to a covert narcissist raised by the same parents.
7 Signs Of A Narcissistic INFJ
An INFJ can be simultaneously narcissistic. They are usually the covert, vulnerable narcissist that can be hard to detect. Some of the characteristics they possess are as follows:
- An understated sense of superiority and a smug demeanor
- A tendency to be self-absorbed
- General passive-aggressive behavior
- Extreme sensitivity
- Playing the victim and claiming to be misunderstood
- Difficulty in relationships
- Impersonal, shallow relationships with others
Traits Of Unhealthy INFJs That Look Like Narcissism
As mentioned above, an unhealthy INFJ can exhibit signs of narcissism that may cause you to think they are, in fact, a narcissist. While these traits can seem difficult to distinguish at first, it’s important to pay close attention to the person’s inherent personality characteristics to understand if their current behaviors are temporary or ingrained.
It’s important to note that while an unhealthy INFJ may exhibit narcissistic traits, it doesn’t mean they are inherently narcissistic.
An unhealthy INFJ has a tendency to want to ensure everybody around them is happy and comfortable. Suppose they start to resent the same people they are helping as a result of feeling obligated. In that case, it could look similar to narcissism.
A narcissist, however, will only help others when it will benefit them and may complain if they aren’t receiving the expected benefits from their supposedly selfless acts. An unhealthy INFJ is acting out of a place of selflessness but may feel unappreciated or taken advantage of.
Narcissists tend to avoid conflict at all costs, especially if somebody attempts to point out their less-than-desirable behavior. Narcissists tend to state their opinion on a situation and refuse to listen to the point of view of anybody else. A similar tendency exists with unhealthy INFJs instead of the healthy alternative that thrives on hearing all possible points of view.
This desire to avoid conflict altogether often stems from selfish desires, as conflict in the presence of an unhealthy INFJ will cause them severe distress despite their lack of involvement. As a result, an unhealthy INFJ will attempt to take control of the situation and end the conflict prematurely to avoid how it affects them. This can be seen as a narcissistic, self-absorbed move.
INFJs in an unhealthy state tend to take things personally and see any criticism as a personal attack. This is a characteristic synonymous with narcissism.
INFJs can also be oversensitive and highly self-absorbed. This tendency to take things personally can cause them to feel misunderstood and isolated, often taking on the role of the victim, something commonly associated with narcissism.
An unhealthy INFJ can also see themselves as more enlightened or important than those around them. This inflated sense of self-importance is one of the pervasive characteristics of narcissists.
Unhealthy INFJs are generally extremely perfectionistic. This perfectionism stems from a desire to do everything as well as possible to avoid criticism. This can often be confused with narcissistic tendencies to strive for perfection in all aspects of life.
Conclusion
While INFJs are generally not the personality type you would associate with narcissism, an INFJ can be a narcissist or exhibit narcissistic traits. Bear in mind the distinction between these two options. An unhealthy, unevolved narcissist can display many characteristics of being a narcissist without actually being one.
