ESTJs are often called narcissists, and their behaviors are labeled manipulative. It is interesting to know if being an ESTJ plays a role in those labels or is purely based on individual people. If it is based on the personality type, then why? Let’s find out if ESTJs are narcissistic and manipulative.
ESTJs can be narcissistic if they are emotionally unhealthy. They are extroverted, enthusiastic beings who want others to be the same, and their approach sometimes seems manipulative. The MBTI does not determine a person to be narcissistic – that depends entirely on each individual’s behavior.
Being around some ESTJs can make you think that all of them are manipulative and have unhealthy behaviors in dealing with others. On the contrary, not all ESTJs are that way. Many may show toxic traits, but that is not due to being ESTJs; it is because of their personal character and lack of emotional health. We will discuss the details further in the article.
Can ESTJs Be Narcissists?
If you have dealt with an unhealthy narcissistic ESTJ, the verdict you will believe is that they are all narcissists, and it is because of traits from their personality type. The MBTI does not determine or conclude a person to be manipulative. It is merely a description to understand how the person functions. Each person can use those traits positively or negatively.
ESTJs can be narcissistic. Anyone from any MBTI can be a narcissist. It depends entirely on their character and how they carry out the functions of their personality types. Being a manipulative person who does not respect others and gaslights every situation can come from many reasons – listed below:
We will discuss how each of these impacts narcissistic and manipulative characteristics in ESTJs.
Mental Health Disorders Can Create Narcissistic ESTJs
Did you know that many negative behaviors exist because of mental health imbalances? Disorders such as anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc., are some of the biggest reasons people tend to act negatively towards others and themselves.
A person suffering from any mental health condition can easily fall into the mindset of feeling victimized, entitled, and angry at life and others. This is especially evident when they don’t realize their disorders or are not getting active help through it.
An ESTJ with mental health issues may become aggressive in their relationships with others. They find it difficult to empathize, sympathize, or see different perspectives. An ESTJ who recognizes these conditions may be more aware or get help – they may still have narcissistic traits, but it will not be as evident or affect their relationships too profoundly.
Childhood Trauma Can Create Narcissistic ESTJs
Childhood trauma is often connected to mental health conditions like anxiety but to understand it in depth, take the following examples:
- A child being bullied will grow up to be the bully.
- A child being neglected will often grow up to disregard others’ feelings.
- A child being manipulated will grow up learning that that is the way to love or interact with others.
- An ESTJ who is narcissistic may identify with some or all of these examples. Most ESTJs and other personality types who are narcissists or manipulative would have most likely been through some challenging ordeal as a child, which then caused their negative behaviors as adults.
Emotionally Unhealthy ESTJs Can Be Narcissistic
You will unlikely find an emotionally healthy ESTJ to be narcissistic or manipulative. Every person has these traits within them to some level, but only unhealthy ESTJs will act on them or use them to hurt others.
An ESTJ aware of their mental and emotional state will be conscious, accept their unfavorable functions, and always try to improve themselves. They will take steps to remove these behaviors and avoid doing things that will negatively impact themselves or others.
Can ESTJs Be Toxic?
The simple answer is – yes – ESTJs can be toxic. But then, so can every other human being on this planet. Every single person has toxic traits. ESTJs are no exception. That does not mean that all ESTJs are toxic or that an ESTJ will prove to show toxicity in their mannerisms.
As mentioned, a mentally and emotionally unhealthy ESTJ will likely be toxic, whereas a healthy one will try to avoid bringing out those toxic traits. There are things you can notice and look out for in ESTJs to pick up on toxic and narcissistic behaviors. They are listed below:
- An ESTJ who wants to feel in control and powerful attacks those around them to seem superior to others.
- A toxic ESTJ argues a lot and can be aggressive, hoping to make themselves look and feel better.
- They deflect any type of criticism and redirect it toward others but will not think twice before criticizing others.
- They want others to do the necessary work while they feel entitled to slack but will pick on how others do things.
- They can never accept that they are wrong and will manipulate the situation to make others wrong. They never apologize, even when proven wrong.
- They will get triggered quickly over little things and burst into rage, blame, and shame towards those round them.
- They can be pretty rude, disrespectful, and arrogant.
- They lack any form of self-awareness. Toxic ESTJs don’t notice how ignorant and unreasonable they can be and never reflect on their own actions.
- They don’t see different perspectives or consider others’ ways of dealing with situations. They simply see things as they are in front of them and only want to do what they feel is best, without realizing it can negatively affect others.
Conclusion
ESTJs can be narcissistic if they are unhealthy. They also seem manipulative in their approach to things, even though they don’t mean to be that way. A toxic ESTJ is a mentally and emotionally immature and unhealthy individual. While most people have negative traits, it is all about how you handle them and deal with those around you.
