ESFP is one of sixteen Myers-Briggs personality types. People who associate with this personality type are generally great fun to be around. ESFPs have quick reaction times, both physically and mentally. This makes them great comedians and athletes. With their keen sensitivity, they can efficiently react to others’ feelings, but does this make them manipulative?
ESFP people are goal-oriented and prefer to be physically active rather than engage in discussions. They have a keen sensibility and can manipulate others to feel a certain way. They seek pleasure and are often thought to be narcissistic, though they may simply be keeping up with trends.
If you know someone with an ESFP personality type, you likely know them as the life of the party. People with this personality are often the fun ones around and seem to be constantly seeking pleasure. They may be a barrel of laughs, but, like any personality type, there is a downside to ESFP people too. We know they are in tune with emotions, and they know what they want, but are these individuals manipulative narcissists who will stop at nothing to get what they want? Let’s find out.
Can ESFPs Be Controlling?
For us to understand if ESFPs are inherently manipulative, let us first understand what ESFP entails as a personality type.
ESFP stands for:
- Extraversion
- Sensing
- Feeling
- Perception
If we consider an ESFP individual, we likely immediately think of how outgoing and fun they are. This is the “Extraversion” element of this personality trait. The truth is that there is also a great deal of sensing and feeling occurring within these people even as they plan their next adventure.
ESFPs are largely sensible. They enjoy solving problems and will relish any opportunity to give advice. The problem with this comes with the “Perception” element of the personality type. While they enjoy working with what is real or concrete, they often rely on perception when giving advice or making decisions.
ESFPs often experience overwhelming feelings. Their feelings on any given matter guide their perceptions. This becomes an issue when they make decisions or alter their goals according to their perceptions and emotions rather than using logic.
It is essential to mention that ESFPs are goal and fun-oriented. They constantly seek the next pleasure-giving event, and they typically stop at nothing to achieve their goals.
Considering if ESFPs are manipulative, it is interesting to note that many actors belong to this personality type. They can clearly visualize what they are portraying and manipulate you into feeling a certain way.
It is safe enough to allow ESFPs to manipulate us for our entertainment when they are on stage or on a screen. It can become a little unclear what to make of them when they are our friends.
Your ESFP friend may strongly desire to go on a particular vacation. You may be hesitant, knowing that your budget may not allow for this type of experience. This is where an element of manipulation could creep in. Your ESFP friend will find a way to convince you that you desire the vacation as much as they do. This could be considered a form of manipulation, as it was not your initial decision.
ESFPs may not be malicious in their manipulation. It could be that their perception of the matter, their strong emotions on the subject, and their overwhelming desire to achieve their goal are enough to push them into doing and saying things almost beyond their control.
Suppose an ESFP wishes to control what and who they manipulate. In that case, they should be aware of sound facts (Like the budget, for example) and take others’ feelings into consideration. They should reassess goals and dreams and adjust them according to how they affect those around them.
Are ESFPs Narcissists?
ESFPs are majority outgoing and extroverted. They crave social interaction and relish interpersonal relationships. They seek pleasure and excitement, making them appear somewhat vain or even narcissistic.
ESFPs sometimes come across as fickle in that they may often change their looks to suit a trend or fashion. The truth is that they enjoy anything that brings excitement and socializing and likely wish to experiment with new looks or look good for their social interactions.
True narcissists tend to think they are better than those around them. They become easily angered when criticized, even if it is slight. Narcissists are not in love with the authentic version of themselves; instead, they have an elaborately formulated idea of who they would like to be.
This element of narcissism ties in with ESFPs’ lack of dedication to facts. ESFPs typically prefer to act on perception and feelings than plain facts. This could lead them to live in a created perception of themselves rather than the truth of how they indeed are.
If you have an ESFP in your life, chances are you have been pulled into at least one of their grand plans for adventure before. While you may have felt manipulated in some way, it is not usually for ESFPs to willingly discredit your feelings.
ESFPs are driven by fun, connection, and feelings. If an ESFP is ignoring your feelings, it does not necessarily mean that they are a narcissist. Try to talk to the ESFP in your life about how you are feeling and why. If they are willing to learn from what you tell them and show remorse for any discomfort they have caused, they are likely not narcissists.
If the ESFP in your life reacts badly to your conversation and tries to blame you for any negative feelings, you may be dealing with a narcissist.
Are ESFPs Self Absorbed?
While the ESFP in your life may not be a full-on narcissist, there is a good chance they are a little self-absorbed.
They are governed by the introverted “Feeling” and extroverted “Sensing.” Often, the extrovert side takes over, leaving the ESFP with little moral compass and understanding of how their actions possibly affect those around them.
When an ESFP is governed by the “Sensing” side, they may be self-absorbed. They will often neglect others’ feelings, lack comprehension of seemingly simple life matters, and even feel that people and situations are against them.
Even in a good emotional place, ESFPs may become a little self-absorbed. It is a good idea for those of this personality type to explain their motives and help their loved ones understand that they are, in fact, acting out of love or in the best interest of those in their lives.
Conclusion
Those with an ESFP personality type may come across as manipulative and narcissistic; however, the truth is typically a little less severe. ESFPs tend to be thrill-seekers and crave close personal connections and social interactions. They are usually the class clown, the life of the party, or vacation organizer and work doggedly toward their goal. This personality type loves affection and fun and may come across as a giant teddy bear.
ESFPs may manipulate you into feeling what they want you to feel or manage to get you excited about things you may not typically have enjoyed doing. This does not mean they are maliciously manipulating you. Instead, they likely see it as sharing their excitement. While governed by their “Sensing” traits, ESFPs may be self-absorbed and selfish. They can even feel as if people are against them and will not take criticism easily.
