ESTPs are typically happy-go-lucky individuals full of humor, fun, and adventure. They are not ones to get emotional or dwell on things, but they are human beings, after all, and do have feelings. Let’s take a look at things that make an ESTP sad.
Things that make ESTPs sad are, feeling powerless because they like having control or when people insult them. When they feel lonely or unloved, lose people they care about, lack options that restrict their freedom to explore life, and have overwhelming emotions they don’t know how to deal with.
Most people think ESTPs are emotionless, and although it seems like they are, ESTPs feel all sorts of emotions like everyone else. They simply fail to verbally express it or physically portray it because they don’t like to dwell, and they prefer to move on, think logically, and find solutions.
What Makes ESTPs Sad?
For many people of all personality types, watching a romantic movie, hearing some sad news, or having an argument with a loved one can make them feel down; ESTPs feel sadness for different reasons. ESTPs are generally joyful, energetic, and solution-finders, but several things can bring them down, as discussed in the points below:
1. Feeling Powerless
ESTPs are natural leaders, entrepreneurs, and advocates for independence. They take control of their lives and affairs and enjoy having that control. They don’t conform to authoritative structures are routines and prefer to do things as they want, when they please. Having a sense of control gives them a feeling of power.
When that control is removed from them, or they are in a position where they feel powerless, it can upset them intensely. They are likely to get angry and frustrated, which turns into sadness because they cannot do anything about their situation.
ESTPs hate feeling sedentary; they want to get up and go. They like to keep things moving and exciting. When ESTPs are stuck in situations where they feel idle, boxed up, or controlled, it affects them heavily and can often depress them because it takes away from the core functions of who they are and what they are meant to do.
2. Being Insulted
ESTPs are genuinely loving, caring, kind people. They can sometimes seem mean or rude, but it is because they are triggered or emotionally unhealthy. Most ESTPs are respectful, and words of affirmation are one of their love languages. That is why they take being insulted badly. No one likes being insulted, but it seems to trigger ESTPs deeper and more intensely.
ESTPs don’t often show when upset, but if you insult their intelligence, abilities, and something or someone they love, it will upset them to the core. If you accuse them of something or degrade their work ethic, ESTPs will take extreme offense, and it makes them sad to know that people think of them that way since they like being in high regard towards people.
3. Feeling Alone And Unloved
ESTPs are extreme extroverts. They thrive on being with others. They love social interactions and need to engage with people to feel good. ESTPs cannot be alone for an extended period, or they will start feeling sad and lonely. Many people enjoy having alone time, but ESTPs immediately feel lonely and overcome with negative emotions if they are left alone more than they can handle.
If ESTPs do not get the attention they desire, they feel unloved, which depresses them. If they do not have at least one person around them for most of their time, it brings ESTPs down. Some extroverts enjoy taking time off from socializing and like their time and space to recoup for future interactions, but ESTPs are nothing like that, and feeling alone or unloved makes them sad.
4. Losing People
For ESTPs, one of the biggest joys in life is the people they love and care about. They deeply cherish their relationships and go to every extent to make people happy and keep them around. ESTPs will maintain friendships forever if they can and nurture every connection to the best of their ability, so they don’t lose people they care about.
If people walk out of an ESTPs life, move away, or any such sort, it will completely devastate them. An ESTP who starts a relationship with someone, whether a friend, colleague, etc., want those people to stay in their lives forever. Losing people is hard for anyone, especially ESTPs because they value and nurture their relationships and social lives.
5. Overwhelming Emotions
ESTPs are not great with emotions. They don’t know how to manage or deal with feelings. ESTPs have no issue expressing anger and joy, but they do struggle to talk about sadness, love, and other deeper emotions and thoughts surrounding it. They generally tend to brush off those feelings and sweep them under the rug. ESTPs are also highly logical and rational individuals.
If ESTPs go through difficult emotions, they will instead look at reason and find solutions or mask their thoughts with distractions because trying to deal with those overwhelming emotions makes them super sad and can result in them wallowing. ESTPs don’t like to dwell; if something affects them intensely, it immensely brings them down.
6. Emotional Manipulation
It is not easy to emotionally manipulate an ESTP as a stranger, but they can be manipulated by those close to them. ESTPs trust, love, and admire people close to them, people they care about, but those people can emotionally manipulate ESTPs. The extroverted type is so deeply involved in their social lives and trying to maintain relationships that they overlook someone trying to hurt them.
ESTPs are independent and self-sufficient; however, if someone tries to hurt them through manipulation, they have difficulty accepting and processing it. ESTPs also do not express their feelings, so they hold them in or distract themselves to mask those emotions when upset.
7. Dramatic And Superficial People
If there is one thing ESTPs genuinely cannot stand, it is dramatic and superficial people. ESTPs are loud, energetic, and confident; they are not dramatic. When dealing with people that are over the top, cause drama and issues, and are too much to handle or deal with, that affects ESTPs’ moods. It can get exhausting for them and bring them down when they can’t control the situation around those people.
Superficial people are another pet peeve for ESTPs. ESTPs are honest and straightforward. They don’t do things to impress or please others. They are confident and don’t care what others think. They are happy with themselves and don’t put up a front pretending to be a certain way. ESTPs can’t deal with pretentious people, which also brings them down.
People who act a specific way to fit in, lie, manipulate, show off or care too much about what people think tend to upset ESTPs because those habits annoy them. ESTPs can see straight through superficial and pretentious people, making them sad to be surrounded by those people and have to put up with them.
8. Lack Of Options
Something that will get an ESTP feeling down and depressed extremely easily and quickly is a lack of options in any aspect of their life. ESTPs are the type to move on from one thing to the next quickly. They hate being held down to one thing or not having options for what adventure they can explore next.
ESTPs value their independence as much as they value their life. Being stuck in a specific lifestyle where they have to follow a routine or structure or be sedentary will frustrate them in no time. Unhealthy ESTPs can actually slip into depression if that goes on for an extended time.
Do ESTPs Cry?
ESTPs are not emotional and therefore do not cry easily or often. They do feel deep feelings but do not dwell on them long enough to cry. They prefer to find solutions through logic and reasoning. That said, crying is not a foreign concept to ESTPs. Some rarely cry, and others cry occasionally.
If ESTPs do not get emotional and cry, what makes them cry? The extroverted personality has a positive outlook on life. They are leaders and problem-solvers. But that also means they undergo heavy levels of stress sometimes, especially in their work and careers.
Extreme stress levels can cause ESTPs to cry, but they won’t cry around people. ESTPs keep their feeling bottled up until they are alone and then allow the tears to flow because of the overwhelming anxiety.
Anger is another emotion that can cause ESTPs to cry. ESTPs can be slightly short-tempered, and while they try to handle themselves well, sometimes things get too much, and they have major temper outbursts. They will cry because of the outburst, or if they try to hold the anger in, it sometimes results in crying because they don’t know how else to handle it.
How Can ESTPs Deal With Sadness?
ESTPs are not accustomed to handling deep emotions like sadness or depression. When it does happen, they often do not know how to deal with it, so they will turn it into anger, find a quick solution, or distract themselves with socializing and new adventures to avoid any of their thoughts and feelings that come up.
It is essential that ESTPS learn to deal with sadness in an emotionally healthy manner to manage stress levels and maintain good mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health. A few tips are explained below:
Understand not everyone is perfect: Having expectations from people to be perfect, never hurt you or leave you, is unrealistic. Most times, it is part of life, and everyone is doing the best they can.
People have different interests: Not everyone has the same interests as you. Some people don’t like to socialize or do the same activities that you like. Accept people for who they are.
People need time alone: When someone does not want to spend time with you, it does not mean they don’t love you or will never interact with you again. People are different, and not everyone is an extrovert who can always socialize. Some people, especially introverts, occasionally need space for their personal well-being.
Accept that sadness is part of life: It is essential to understand that sadness and disappointment are a part of life. Emotions and downtimes come and go. It is normal to feel sad. Allow those feelings to surface and deal with them instead of expecting not to feel them.
Learn to heal instead of using distractions: One way to be emotionally healthy is to manage your emotions like sadness by learning and understanding them and making space for them. Distractions are an easy way to avoid feelings, but they are a temporary solution. You need to heal from your triggers instead of looking for a way out of dealing with your emotions.
How To Help A Sad ESTP
If you are dealing with a sad ESTP and don’t know what to do to help them, here are some ideas:
Spend quality time with them. ESTPs love spending time with people they love, and social interactions help them thrive. Doing fun activities that an ESTP enjoys will get them excited and out of their funk. Quality time is an ESTPs love language and is bound to cheer them up.
Buy them gifts. ESTPs love gift-giving and receiving. They are always the ones thinking of others, so when someone thinks of them first and gets them something they might love or use, it makes ESTPs genuinely excited and grateful.
Tell them what they mean to you. Words of affirmation are also an ESTPs love language. They love being told how much they are adored and appreciated. Compliments to an ESTP are bound to lift their spirits.
Conclusion
Contrary to popular belief, ESTPs have feelings and feel every emotion other humans experience. They don’t like being alone, manipulated, insulted, feeling overwhelming emotions, or having no control over their lives. When an ESTP goes through these things, it makes them sad, even if it is only for a little while.
