Sometimes referred to as “consuls,” ESFJs are attentive, people-focused, and enjoy actively participating in their community. However, ESFJs are known to be overbearing, which can result in them irritating others. So in what ways do ESFJs irritate other people?
Although ESFJs are caring and attentive people that look to improve the lives of others, they can often do so at the expense of other people’s opinions and personal space. Furthermore, ESFJs sometimes seek the approval of others by flaunting titles, monetary goods and disregarding criticism.
To better understand why some people find ESFJs irritating, let’s explore six negative traits of ESFJs in further detail below. We will look at ways ESFJs can improve their relationship with others and avoid becoming an unintended source of irritation.
How Do ESFJs Irritate Others?
Although ESFJs seldom intend to irritate others, there are some traits of ESFJs that can cause frustration to those around them:
- ESFJs are always concerned about social status,
- ESFJs are known to be inflexible,
- ESFJs are reluctant to innovate or improvise,
- ESFJs are needy,
- ESFJs handle criticism poorly,
- ESFJs can be overbearing.
1. ESFJs Are Always Concerned About Social Status
While everybody is concerned about their social status, ESFJs are known to take this concern to the extreme. Consequently, ESFJs will try to impress others by flaunting material goods and/or bragging about their accomplishments and titles to improve their social status, among others.
Therefore, unlike healthy methods of improving one’s social status via community engagement, genuine conversation, etc. ESFJs may lean heavily on superficial assets in an attempt to impress others.
In conclusion, many people find this behavior disingenuous, selfish, and annoying.
2. ESFJs Are Known To Be Inflexible
While ESFJs have strong practical skills that they like to exercise through routine and from leadership vantage points, this can also manifest into an inflexible personality type and unwillingness to change their schedules to assist others.
Furthermore, this inflexibility can extend to a personality type that considers their opinion superior to others and becomes frustrated when others do not follow their lead/example.
In conclusion, this inflexibility can result in a controlling personality that considers themselves, their schedules, and their opinions above those of others. These actions can be interpreted as being selfish and disinterested in others’ feelings.
3. ESFJs Are Reluctant To Innovate Or Improvise
Like how ESFJs are known to be inflexible, they are also reluctant to innovate or improvise. Consequently, ESFJs are not willing to deviate from set paths, nor are they ready to change their methodology on the fly.
While there are some positives, as this shows a personality type that is confident in executing tried and tested tactics, the negatives include the inability of ESFJs to adapt their strategies to changing times, methodology, or circumstances.
Furthermore, this inability to innovate or improvise means they are at risk of rejecting the thoughts and ideas of others, even if there is evidence to suggest that changing one’s methodology may have positive results!
4. ESFJs Are Needy
Although ESFJs make great conversationalists, partners, and team players, their constant need for social engagement and positive affirmation/reinforcement makes them a needy personality type.
Understandably, needy people can irritate others, as our busy lives seldom allow us to meet the needs and wants of needy people without sacrificing our own time and/or happiness.
In conclusion, ESFJs sometimes lack the confidence and individuality of other personality types who are happy to go about their day without needing others to support their endeavors.
5. ESFJs Handle Criticism Poorly
ESFJs are often perfectionists that take pride in their work and who meticulously plan their every move before executing it. Consequently, ESFJs handle criticism poorly, as it is seen as an affront to their perfectionist nature and meticulous planning skills, on which much ESFJs pride themselves.
However, because criticism is a part of life and an essential method of growing/improving oneself and strategies, many ESFJs undermine their own potential by being hostile toward criticism.
In conclusion, this can frustrate others who are trying to denounce poor plans/ideas while also causing distress to those personality types that are just trying to help ESFJs reach their full potential.
6. ESFJs Can Be Overbearing
Finally, while ESFJs are known to be selfless people that will do their utmost best to assist others, this can translate into a nosey personality type that involves themselves in the deeper affairs of others when not promoted to.
Furthermore, their perfectionist nature means that ESFJs may be inclined to give out unsolicited advice or perform the tasks of others without their consent. In conclusion, ESFJs can be overbearing and overwhelming to other people.
Which Personality Type Do ESFJs Irritate The Most?
Generally speaking, INTJs, sometimes known as architects, and ESFJs are the least compatible personality types. Consequently, the traits that make some ESFJs annoying to others are compounded when around INTJs.
The reason is that INTJs are independent knowledge-focused people that prefer engaging with abstract ideas rather than concerning themselves with the affairs of others. Consequently, they are polar opposite personalities that can get on each other’s nerves.
Furthermore, as judging type personalities, they are also subject to criticizing others and controlling any given space. Consequently, this battle of opinions and dominance can result in bad relations between ESFJs and INTJs, despite their similarity in this regard.
How Can ESFJs Learn To Be Less Irritating?
While it may be difficult for ESFJs to act independently, it is advisable that they spend time alone and develop hobbies/habits that do not require the input of other people (such as exercising or studying.)
Doing so allows ESFJs to be less reliant on others and to be self-critical, leading to a realization that they do not need the affirmation of others to self-actualize and that constructive criticism is a healthy vehicle for growth and development.
Conclusion
In conclusion, although ESFJs can be overbearing and a source of irritation for some personality types (especially INTJs,) working on one’s hobbies and learning to be alone can massively improve an ESFJ’s standing with other people.
