If you notice someone in your life that often goes into a hideout, stops calling, stops texting, does not want to hang out, and basically goes AWOL, you are probably dealing with someone with an INFJ personality trait. There are several reasons why INFJs disappear.
INFJs disappear because, as introverts, they need time alone to recharge. They retreat when they want to process their thoughts alone. If you have hurt an INFJ or overstepped any boundaries, they will pull away. They also withdraw from relationships if they don’t feel a genuine connection with you.
It is pretty challenging to fully understand an INFJ and why they do certain things the way they do it. Their personalities are complex and often misunderstood or judged because they are significantly different. You can read further to learn more about why INFJs disappear and what leads to them acting that way.
Why Do INFJs Disappear?
There are many reasons why an INFJ will withdraw from a relationship or situation and disappear. Sometimes they disappear for good, and sometimes, temporarily. Here are some factors that would cause that:
1. INFJs Are Introverts
The I in INFJ stands for Introvert. The explanation is in the name of the personality trait itself. INFJs al major introverts, even though they are often mistaken for extroverts with their ability to make wonderful, genuine connections with others.
As introverts, INFJs require a lot of time alone and truly enjoy their solitude. It is much needed for their mental and emotional well-being. If they find themselves around someone who is extroverted, often bringing others into the mix or pulling them along to socialize, they will eventually retreat.
An introvert can even withdraw from one individual, especially if that person is an extrovert. For an introvert, extroverts can be too loud, too involved, and overall, too much. That gets pretty exhausting for an introvert to handle, and they retreat to pulling away from people or situations that make them feel that way.
2. INFJs Need Time To Process Things Alone
It all goes hand in hand with being an introvert. INFJs need time to be alone in peace and quiet, in the comfort of their own space and time, to process their thoughts, feelings, and ideas. If they have contradictory feelings, whether it’s about their interactions with you, others, or something personal in their life, they will prefer to deal with that alone instead of discussing it with others.
INFJs approach life with deep imagination and thoughtfulness. They respect their inner vision and personal values, and they need quiet time to process that guidance to help them figure out the best way to move forward before taking it to the next person. Most times, when they disappear, they are simply dealing with their inner thoughts.
3. INFJs Have Strong Boundaries
INFJs have substantial boundaries. Their boundaries are part of their core values and are essential to maintaining their well-being. They see overstepping boundaries as utter disrespect to who they are because they put up boundaries to sustain relationships. INFJs also like honesty, and being dishonest is crossing a boundary – that will set them off.
When they have a boundary that should be helping to maintain a relationship, and someone crosses that boundary, it triggers an INFJ and immensely upsets them. That leads to the INFJ withdrawing from the person or people and will keep their distance until they feel safe or comfortable again. Very often, if you have crossed a boundary, they will stay away because, for an INFJ, that is unacceptable.
- INFJs Seek Genuine Connection
INFJs are sensitive beings and seek genuine emotional and intellectual connections. They enjoy meaningful conversations and deep connections with people that bring positive energy to their lives. They do not prefer relationships that bring them down or that feel fake. They don’t like being around artificial people and small talk. They want to be around people who are compatible with them.
When INFJs find themselves amongst people who they can’t fully connect with, they will not feel secure around them. Any discussion or interaction around people with whom an INFJ cannot build genuine emotional and intellectual conversations will cause them to withdraw and disappear. They will decline invites and avoid messages and calls in hopes of keeping a distance.
5. INFJs Are Highly Intuitive
Intuitiveness is a significant factor in the INFJ personality. They are highly intuitive beings and filter their thoughts through the subconscious. It allows them to predict outcomes of situations and relationships, which is highly accurate and quite impressive. Their intuition rarely fails them, especially in toxic situations where they will negatively affect them.
They are able to pick up on good and bad energy from people. Their intuition will guide them through who they should allow or not allow to get close to them. If their instinct leans towards a negative response, they will quickly distance themselves from the situation and avoid further interactions. That can cause the opposite party to feel like the INFJ has disappeared.
6. INFJs Struggle With Vulnerability
INFJs struggle to be vulnerable because they are sometimes afraid of rejection but primarily afraid of hurting others. They feel that if they open up and discuss their feelings or problems with others, people might get hurt. They also think that people might not fully listen and entirely understand them because INFJs are typically misunderstood.
Being vulnerable can be challenging and sometimes scary for an INFJ. They are highly concerned about the feelings of others instead of their own, so they will be reluctant to open up. An INFJ will choose to withdraw and distance themselves from people instead of confronting an issue at hand to avoid the situation, hoping that it will go away until they can come out of their shell again.
Conclusion
INFJs tend to disappear into their shell when they need some deep and meaningful alone, introvert time to figure out their life, thoughts, emotions, and ideas. They also withdraw when they don’t feel genuine connections with others and prefer to protect themselves by keeping a distance.
