ISTJs are very stoic. They don’t display emotions all that well, and they’ll rarely let you know whether you are doing something that they like. This can make it incredibly difficult to work out what an ISTJ actually finds attractive. You could do the most romantic thing they’ve ever experienced, and they may still struggle to crack a smile.
Luckily for you, we’re here. We are going to share five things that we know ISTJs find incredibly attractive. If you’re trying to attract an ISTJ, or already have one in your life, then follow this guide. We promise you, they’ll love you for it (even though they won’t say that!).
What Do ISTJs Find Attractive? – The Top 5
If you want to learn how to win an ISTJ heart, then it is important that you understand what they find attractive. Luckily, you’ve got us. We’re going to go through the five most attractive things for an ISTJ. If you offer these, then it shouldn’t be too tricky to grab the attention of an ISTJ.
Before we do dive in, though. We do need to point out that ISTJs do not fall in love quickly. They are very reluctant partners. They’re not big risk-takers, so don’t worry too much if you don’t seem to grab the attention of an ISTJ right away. They’ll need to get to know you first, and this will take a while.
Relationship Potential
ISTJs aren’t really fans of casual dating. You wouldn’t really find one kicking about on Tinder, at least not for too long. They’re introverted. They’re not fans of meeting tons and tons of different people. ISTJs would much prefer to find just one person that they can really get to know on a deep, personal level.
ISTJs need to feel as if the relationship has the potential to go somewhere. They never want to feel as if they’re wasting their time. So, if you want to be attractive to an ISTJ, then make sure that you let them know that the relationship has potential. Don’t go overboard. Just share a couple of snippets of what you may want in the future.
If you’re going to date an ISTJ, then we suggest that you only focus on them, especially if you’re interested. Don’t try to play the field with multiple people. You need to be committed to the ISTJ right away. Well, at least display some sort of commitment. It may not work out, but you need to at least give it a go.
Loyalty
When an ISTJ makes you a promise, they’re going to stick to it. The last thing an ISTJ ever wants is to break a promise, and if they do break that promise they’ll feel as if they have let the other person down. It’ll eat away at the ISTJ.
The ISTJ expects the same from their partners. They want loyalty. They want somebody that isn’t going to break a promise to them (even a small promise) because they’ll see it as a massive sign of disrespect.
Passion
ISTJs are attracted to people that are passionate about things in their life. Honestly, it doesn’t matter too much about what your passion is (as long as it is not detrimental to your health), it just happens that you have a bit of excitement and something that you really, really love.
ISTJs really love to watch the person they care about get wrapped up in something exciting. They love seeing the pure joy on somebody’s face.
You’ll also find that ISTJs are very attracted to more ‘adventurous’ people. So, if your passion is more on the adventurous side (say, extreme sports, travel, etc.) then you’ll get bonus points for attractiveness from your ISTJ!
Confidence
ISTJs find confidence really, really sexy.
ISTJs are very certain of the ideas and thoughts that they express. They have come to them through (in their mind) sound logic and reason. Very little emotion in it. So, when you hear an ISTJ convey their thoughts, they’ll always do it in an incredibly confident way. They expect their partner to do the same.
We’re not talking about confidence going up and speaking in front of a crowd (ISTJs don’t like that). We are talking about the confidence to stick to the views that you have in life. You need to speak with conviction. You’ll often find an ISTJ will ask you to back up these thoughts, so be prepared to do that. ISTJs are looking for you to back up your thoughts based on internal values, not emotions.
Practically Expressive of Feelings
As we said at the start, ISTJs really don’t like to show off their feelings. You’ll often find people describe them as quite ‘cold’. This doesn’t mean they have no emotions. They do. They just express those emotions in a different way.
An ISTJ isn’t going to just come out and say “I love you”. Instead, they would prefer to show you that they love you. They will do this by doing things for you. For example, they may cook your favorite meal for you.
You should do the same when you want an ISTJ to find you attractive. You can go and tell them that you like them. Feel free. They’ll understand. But, trust us, they’ll find it a whole lot more attractive if you go out of the way to do things for them.
How To Tell If An ISTJ is Interested in You
It is incredibly difficult to get a read on an ISTJ. This means that it is tough to know when an ISTJ is interested in you. They’re not exactly known for sharing their emotions. We suggest that you keep an eye out for the following:
- If they have started to do more ‘small’ gestures for you e.g. talking about your interests, buying you gifts that they know you will like (because they remembered something you once said)
- Some of the bluntness that they normally have will soften up a bit. They may start to let a few of their emotions slip. Not many, but some. Expect more compliments.
- ISTJs are normally quite stoic, but when they like somebody, a bit of awkwardness creeps in there.
An ISTJ will rarely tell you that they’re interested in you, though. ISTJs would prefer that you approach them and ask. Yes, they can be a bit blunt if the answer is no, but with most ISTJs, this is the only way you’ll get a proper understanding of the situation.
Final Thoughts
As you can see, if you want to do something attractive to an ISTJ, you need to think practically. Unloading your feelings isn’t going to help. Instead, do things for them. Show them, from a practical standpoint, that you’re thinking of them. Share your passions. Show confidence. Be loyal. Trust us, any ISTJ will really like it.
Reference Sources
https://personalitygrowth.com/istj-flirting-dating-how-to-attract-an-istj/ https://www.reddit.com/r/ISTJ/comments/9jzm8m/what_do_istjs_find_charming/ https://www.verywellmind.com/istj-introversion-sensing-thinking-judgment-2795992
