Have you ever wondered if your ESFJ spouse is a little too jealous of your friends? ESFJs are civic-minded gems that need lots of attention, which can become draining to their spouses.
Like any other, this Myers-Briggs personality type, the ESFJ, is sometimes prone to spurts of jealousy because they crave attention from their spouse. If your ESFJ spouse is being needy, checking your social media too often, and exhibiting stress signs, you might need to confront them.
ESFJs make wonderful spouses; they are loyal and loving. However, sometimes, their envy gets the better of them, and it is at this point that their partners must intervene. Read on to know more about the green-eyed monster that is taking over your spouse!
Myers-Briggs Personality Types: Spotlight on ESFJ
ESFJs are most likely to be found on a school or church volunteer board, happily helping whoever they can in the community. They are naturally inclined towards wanting to do everything to improve the situations in their communities. They are nicknamed the Consul or Provider.
As one of sixteen personality types developed by Isabel Myers and Katharine Briggs, the ESFJ is the second most common personality type. ESFJs constitute 8% of men and 17% of women. ESFJ stands for Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving.
Common ESFJ hobbies include volunteering (whether it be at a church or a charity), entertaining (they love hosting!), cooking, social sports (like tennis), and celebrating special occasions, including family traditions and birthdays.
Some famous ESFJs include Ariana Grande, Jennifer Lopez, Barbara Walters, Mary Tyler Moore, Bill Clinton, and Danny Glover. In the fictional realm, Cersei Lannister from Game of Thrones, Carmela Soprano from The Sopranos, and Mrs. Hudson from Sherlock Holmes embody this personality type.
ESFJs In Romantic Relationships
Relationships are, to an ESFJ, to be taken very seriously. Consuls enjoy very structured relationships, with support for each other’s endeavors one of the most important parts of the relationship. Consuls can be a bit needy, and their constant need for reassurance can get on their partner’s nerves.
When criticized, ESFJ can react badly out of the feeling of deep hurt. They also have an aversion to conflict, making it difficult to resolve issues. A partner’s most hurtful thing to an ESFJ is disregarding their opinions and aspirations.
A note of caution for ESFJs is to avoid settling for someone who doesn’t support them and makes them compromise their values, or else they may fall into an emotionally abusive relationship.
ESFJs should also be wary of their natural tendency to avoid conflict. They should address conflict head-on before it becomes unmanageable. Even though they don’t want to disrupt the harmony of the relationship, sometimes a little conflict is necessary for long-term priorities.
However, not everything is so grim. ESFJs can make steadfast partners who are unwavering in their commitments and are open and empathetic.
Do ESFJs Get Jealous?
Even the most composed person can get a little jealous inside – and ESFJs are no exception! ESFJs require validation and appreciation of their efforts in a relationship, and when some external party is getting more validation than they are, they tend to become green with envy.
They will also become jealous if their partners keep things from them or if their partner keeps their relationship a secret. They don’t get jealous if their significant other is getting attention; they just want the best for their partner, but if they are compared to a third party, it may become a problem!
A poll conducted by 16 Personalities suggests that ESFJs are actually the least jealous of all the personality types. In fact, ESFJs are the highest of all types in marital satisfaction rates. Providers are loyal and devoted and expect the same from their partners.
However, as we said, everyone can get a little jealous. Here are the signs that your ESFJ spouse is the green-eyed monster:
1. They’re Too Needy
ESFJs are already clingy, but when they are jealous, they reach a height of emotional dependency that is unhealthy. If your ESFJ partner constantly asks for reassurance about your relationship and checks up on you, consider how that affects your relationship.
2. They Are Isolating You From Your Friends
If ESFJs feel that you are complimenting your friends more than you are them, then they will try to cut you off from your friends slowly. They need validation for themselves and might get super possessive if you try to heap praise onto one of your friends.
If this becomes toxic, you should try to confront your ESFJ partner about it, as much as they don’t like conflict.
3. They Check Your Social Media A Bit Too Frequently
If you’re in a secure relationship, your spouse shouldn’t have to check your social media constantly like they would if you were still in the beginning stages.
This might show that your partner is becoming obsessive and is convinced you might cheat, analyzing any breadcrumbs on social media that indicate that it might be true.
4. They Exhibit Stress Signs
If you can spot a clenched jaw or a tightened fist in your ESFJ partner when you’re talking to someone else, it’s probably not a good sign. These are fundamentally problematic signs as they show envy boiling over into anger.
You should tackle the problem by talking with your partner. If a resolution can’t be made about this unhealthy jealousy, you have to consider whether the relationship is for you.
Are ESFJs Good Liars?
It is difficult to say whether ESFJs are good liars or not. ESFJs are conscientious and loyal and wouldn’t want to lie, but whether they can lie convincingly when necessary differs from person to person.
ESFJs have rigid moral systems, and they would know that lying is wrong. On the other hand, they hate conflict and may tell what they see as a little white lie now and then to protect the harmony in their relationships.
Conclusion
ESFJs are probably the least jealous of all the personality types, but this doesn’t mean they’re immune! They can become possessive if their jealousy starts to get a handle on them.
You can tell if your ESFJ partner is jealous if they start to show stress signs when you’re talking to someone else, if they check your social media too often, and if they are even more clingy than usual.
