Knowing how to show love to an ISTJ can be exceedingly tough. Those with an ISTJ personality tend to be very quiet and incredibly grounded. They also have many issues showing their emotions (early on in a relationship, you may struggle to get an ISTJ to open up). Thankfully, there are ways that you can show your ISTJ partner that you love them.
Give them regular compliments if you want to show your ISTJ partner love. Not just general compliments, but praise for specific parts of their personality or looks. You may also want to shower them with acts of service. It may even be wise to give them some space every now and then.
On this page, we want to look at the specific things you can do to make your ISTJ partner feel loved. There are other proven methods to show your love, but we think everything you read here should be a good start. It will make it easier for you to get to grips with how your ISTJ is feeling.
Be Specific With Your Compliments
If you’re in a relationship with an ISTJ, one of the earliest difficulties you will face is trying to get them to open up emotionally. ISTJs are not known for their ability to share how they’re feeling, and they are often not brilliant at connecting with your emotions either. Things will improve later on, but you’re going to have to ride things out at the start.
Luckily, you can now use this knowledge to help show your ISTJ that they feel loved.
If you throw out a general compliment like “you’re so amazing”, then it isn’t going to really resonate with your ISTJ. They’ll just toss it to one side. They can’t seem to connect with the generalness of the compliment. Don’t give hints about what you like about a person, tell them exactly why you love them. This applies before you’re even in a relationship too. ISTJs are completely oblivious to flirting.
Do you like the way they have styled their hair that day? Do you like the way they treated you on that one specific date? Are you in love with their intelligence? Tell them. Be as specific as you can about the compliments. They’ll really love it.
You will run into a tiny, tiny issue, though. ISTJs thrive on honesty. If you say something to them, even if it is not true, they’ll likely believe it. So, only share compliments that you genuinely mean about them. It’ll only hurt them more later on if they realize you aren’t telling the truth.
Acts of Service & Gift Giving
When an ISTJ wants to show love to their partner, they will do ‘acts of service’. They thrive on it. Basically, they love to help others with chores, cooking, remembering their favorite things, etc. It is the way that they show their love. To them, ‘acts of service’ are part of their love language. This means that you should do the same for them.
We highly recommend that you do things for your ISTJ partner every so often. Clean up the house, cook them their favorite meal, and take them on their favorite date. Do something practical for them. Something that can genuinely help to improve their lives at that moment.
ISTJs also really, really love gifts. Not just some random gifts like a bouquet of flowers or something like that. Something that they can use (ISTJs think very practically). So, if they have a hobby, buy them a tool that they can use for that hobby. To them, it is one of the most romantic gifts that you can possibly give them!
Give Them Space
ISTJs are very introverted. The clue is right there in the name. If you’re with an ISTJ, you can’t really expect to go to massive social gatherings or even crowded restaurants. They won’t like it. ISTJs need their space and, yes, sometimes this means space from you.
A lot of people seem to believe that they need to constantly crowd their partner (especially the more extroverted people) but never do this to an ISTJ. It shows that you aren’t really caring about their feelings.
Every so often, give your ISTJ space to unwind and do things for themselves. You don’t need to be with them every single minute of every day. In fact, sometimes you may even want to give them a whole day or two without you contacting them. They’ll really appreciate the space that you give them and, to them, this is true love.
As a side note here – we recommend that you don’t force your ISTJ into doing any heavy social gatherings (especially if they don’t know the people that are involved). This is likely to make them incredibly stressed, and they won’t like that you have put them in that position.
Keep Your Promises
ISTJs love to keep promises. If an ISTJ tells you that they are going to do something at a certain time or be somewhere at a certain time, you can guarantee that they are going to fulfill the promise that they made. It is in their nature, and they expect the same thing from everybody else.
So, when you make a promise to your ISTJ, make sure that you keep it. It is going to hurt them a lot every single time you break a promise. Since this is something that they couldn’t possibly fathom doing to somebody they care about, it’ll make them think that you don’t love them. Obviously, you don’t want that.
Final Thoughts
As you can see, many of the ways to make your ISTJ feel loved are very practical. We are talking about keeping your promises, giving them specific compliments, giving them space, and even helping them out with a few chores. There won’t be any lavish gift-giving here. There is no smothering with affection and love. It is just giving your ISTJ practical things that they can work with. Do the four things that we highlighted on this page, and we can guarantee that your ISTJ will know that you love them more than anything!
Reference Sources
https://www.truity.com/blog/five-things-istjs-need-be-happy-life https://www.wikihow.com/Attract-an-ISTJ-Personality
