You’ve upset an ENFJ. You know because they gaze at you questioningly, in disbelief and despair. Your immediate thought is, ‘What have I said to deserve such a dark, stabbing look?’ You scan your previous conversation to look for the offending statement. Aha! It’s that; you know it because you’re knowledgeable about what to never say to ENFJs.
To maintain a good relationship with an ENFJ requires understanding their mindset and how they perceive their actions and the world around them. There are certain things that you should avoid saying to people with this personality type to prevent confrontational situations.
You value your ENFJ friend and their commitment to you and the world; you want to maintain a good relationship with them, but you find that it’s so easy to offend them, and you often need to spend an excessive amount of time regaining their trust. You can avoid all this drama by knowing what you should never say to an ENFJ to maintain a smooth relationship.
Never Say These 25 Things To An ENFJ Personality
The ENFJ is one of 16 personality types identified by the Myers-Briggs Indicator. This personality type displays the following traits: Extraversion, Intuition, Feeling, and Judging. The ENFJ is called ‘the giver.’ If you work with an ENFJ or have an ENFJ partner or friend, you have a relationship with a warm, friendly, loyal, sensitive, and engaged person.
However, all personality types have a positive and a negative side. The ENFJ can be overzealous and come across as too friendly, overly sensitive, and excessively focused on issues. You might want to tell your ENFJ person to step back, but you know they take criticism badly, so what should you never say to jeopardize your relationship? Here are 25 things you should never say to an ENFJ.
1. You’re Helping Too Much
ENFJs happily and naturally help others and will spend time doing it. If you tell them they are helping too much and they should stop, they will tell you that they want to.
2. You’re Living In The Future
ENFJs are focused on tomorrow and beyond; they plan into the future. If you tell them to stay in the now, they’ll ask you who will think about what to do tomorrow.
3. You’re Helicopter Parenting
ENFJs have high expectations. If you suggest they expect less and let their children be, they’ll tell you they need to help their children achieve their best.
4. You’re Being Unrealistic
ENFJs often want to solve the world’s problems. If you tell them that the solution to the problem is not achievable and greater than what they can achieve alone, they’ll let you know that they will find a way.
5. You’re Being Idealistic
ENFJs have a sense of justice and expect others to be the same. If you tell them that they can’t change something and they’re being too idealistic, they will insist on upholding justice.
6. You’re Being Patronizing
ENFJs love teaching and they eagerly share knowledge and beliefs. You can tell them that you know how to do something, but they won’t see it.
7. You’re Being Too Intense
ENFJs are energetic and focused on solutions. It can be overwhelming, and too much, but they will try and convince you to be proactive.
8. You’re Being Too Kind
ENFJs are empathetic; they understand how others feel. If you tell them it isn’t their problem, they will insist others need their help.
9. You’re Pushing Yourself Too Hard
ENFJs are achievers; they will give more than expected. If you tell them they don’t need to push themselves so hard, they will tell you it’s imperative to give your best.
10. You’ve Taken On Too Much
ENFJs are obliging and want people to like them. They will take on projects that others happily give them. Tell them to say no and that they won’t cope, and they will say they can’t.
11. You’ve Made All The Decisions
ENFJs lead well but can become overenthusiastic and make decisions for others. You can try and contribute but they will tell you they know what to do and are happy to make all the decisions.
12. You’re Accommodating Everyone
ENFJs want to include everyone’s decision, so they overfocus on others’ values and try to adjust them, creating friction. You can tell them it’s impossible to consider everyone’s opinion, but they will say, we need to all agree here.
13. You’re Being Sensitive
ENFJs are sensitive to processes and others’ well-being but can feel affronted if people don’t like their approach. Even if you tell them, it’s not meant personally, they will tell you they’ve put all their effort into making this work.
14. You’re Prioritizing Others
ENFJs expend their energy on trying to create a harmonious, righteous world where others succeed. Tell them to remember to care for themselves because they often prioritize others.
15. You’re Pushing Me Too Hard
ENFJs like to see others achieve, which can create pressure for them to do better. If you tell them, you can’t manage and they’re pushing too hard, they’ll tell you that you can excel and it’s important not to give up.
16. You’re Being Indecisive
ENFJs are big picture thinkers and have difficulty making quick decisions. They feel the need to consider long-term consequences and don’t like being pressured into making decisions.
17. You’re Overthinking This
ENFJs like to consider all options before deciding. They are overthinkers and struggle with spontaneous changes. They will not hear you say that something is simple, they will take their time to make the right decision.
18. You’re Trying to Change The World Alone
ENFJs want a better world and attempt to take it on single-handedly even though you tell them they can’t. They think they can.
19. You’re Taking This Too Seriously
ENFJs take everything seriously and feel deeply. It’s incomprehensible for them to relax in the face of unfairness.
20. You’re Being Too Bohemian
ENFJs focus on love and care for others, shy away from cynicism and approach the world with trust. You can tell them to be more cynical and they will tell you human beings need to care.
21. You’re Being Too Soft
ENFJs are feelers and cannot discard their feelings for a goal that rides roughshod over others’ feelings and needs. Tell them to stop being soft and toughen up and they will think that is too harsh.
22. You’re Being Too Emotional
ENFJs are emotional, and instead of responding rationally, they become overwhelmed by issues. Telling them to control their emotions is difficult as they respond more emotively than rationally.
23. You’re Being Taken Advantage Of
ENFJs want to be liked and find it difficult to say no to people who often exploit their kindness. They will tell you they have to do it because they promised.
24. You’re Sinking Into Depression
ENFJs can fall into the caverns of depression when things go wrong or think people have criticized them. You can tell them to snap out of it but they naturally revel in why, how, who, and what to do.
25. You’re Being Manipulative
ENFJs overhelp, thinking they know what is good for others and coax others to change their ways. You can tell them to leave you do it your own way but they will struggle to stay out of your business.
Conclusion
ENFJs are people-oriented. They seek others out and intuitively understand people. They think ahead and see things from a global perspective; values and ideals drive them. However positive these traits are, they can be problematic for others when over-enthusiastically manifested. Be careful how you respond to your ENFJ person’s extreme versions of their traits. There are things you should never say.
