ISTJs tend to be the strong, quiet type. They put tremendous effort into achieving their goals. People often view them as emotionless and cold, but this is usually very far from the truth. They may struggle to show warmth, but their feelings run deep for those in their inner circles. Can these stoic individuals show affection, and how do they express it to their loved ones?
ISTJs show that they care through their actions. They don’t usually dish out a lot of physical affection or gush about feelings. They keep hugging and cuddling exclusively for their significant others and their families. ISTJs care for their loved ones by providing for their physical needs.
ISTJs enjoy spending time alone or with small groups of close friends or family. They are very devoted to their special people, although they might struggle to express this in the typical ways, such as physical touch or words of affirmation. However, they are fiercely loyal and will put their loved one’s needs before their own and drop everything to help them regardless of their agendas.
Ways ISTJs Show Affection
Although ISTJs don’t readily exhibit “warm and fuzzy” behavior toward their loved ones, they often show their love in subtle ways. These are some of the signs from an ISTJ that will help you identify their affection for you:
- ISTJs do things for you.
- ISTJs will listen to you when you need to talk.
- ISTJs try to solve your problems for you.
- ISTJs always keep their promises no matter what it costs them.
- ISTJs show affection by teasing and using sarcasm.
- ISTJs show affection by setting time aside for you.
- ISTJs may blurt out their feelings suddenly.
- ISTJs show affection by including you in their downtime.
- ISTJs show affection by being trustworthy.
- ISTJs show affection by planning perfect dates.
1. ISTJs Do Things For You To Show Affection
ISTJs’ number one way of showing how much they care for you is through acts of service. They may cook food or do chores for you after a hard day. If an ISTJ cares about you, they want your life to be as easy as possible and will look for practical ways to achieve this.
2. ISTJs Show Affection By Listening When You Need To Talk
ISTJs are good listeners and are willing to listen to their closest people for two reasons. First, they don’t need to take center stage in a conversation and are happy that somebody else is talking. Also, sharing your feelings and needs gives the ISTJ a window into your world so that he knows how he can help you.
3. Solving Your Problems Is An ISTJ Display Of Affection
ISTJs are practical people, so once they have listened to your story and assessed the situation, they set about solving your problems in the most practical ways possible. If your car has broken down, they will find the best and most affordable person to fix it if they can’t do it themselves. If they can, they will be under the hood in no time.
4. ISTJs Show Affection By Keeping Their Promises
An ISTJ’s word is like gold. They always keep their promises, honor their commitments, and take their different relationship roles like spouse, parent, friend, and offspring very seriously. When they commit to any of these relationships, they will do their utmost to fulfill the responsibilities required, for the sole purpose of making their loved ones happy.
5. ISTJs Show Affection By Teasing And Using Sarcasm
Although ISTJs are quite serious people, they often have a dry sense of humor which they might use at your expense if you are on their list of loved ones. Many admit to teasing and using sarcasm as their way of joking, especially if you are their new love interest, significant other, or spouse. Getting to see their fun side is a privilege reserved for people they love, so don’t be offended.
6. ISTJ’s Show Affection By Setting Time Aside For You
ISTJs are quite attached to their schedules, so if they regularly set time aside to be with you, you can take that as a sign that they care deeply for you.
7. ISTJs May Blurt Out Feelings Suddenly To Show Affection
ISTJs generally don’t use much romantic language, but they might suddenly blurt out their feelings unexpectedly. This could be for two reasons. First, it could be a desperate attempt to alleviate the chaos inside them, so their declarations may come at the strangest time.
Secondly, they put all their efforts into making their relationships work and know that most people need to hear their partners share their feelings with them. So they do it, albeit awkwardly at first, because it makes their partner happy and is part of what they do to give their all to the relationship.
8. ISTJs Show Affection By Including You In Their Downtime
ISTJs need time alone to recharge after being with people. If you’re one of their special people, you might have the privilege of sharing their downtime, doing something quiet like watching movies or playing chess.
9. ISTJs Show Affection By Being Trustworthy
Not only are they good listeners, but ISTJs are also excellent confidantes. Whatever you share with them, you can be sure that your secrets are safe with them. You can safely tell them anything without worrying about them repeating it to anyone. They protect their loved ones and afford them the same privacy they crave.
10. ISTJs Show Affection By Planning Perfect Dates
ISTJs are planners and perfectionists and tend to stick to traditional gender roles. Dates would be romantic and well-organized down to the last detail. When they commit to somebody, they put all their effort into fulfilling their roles to the nth degree so that their partners feel loved and the ISTJ knows he has done his job well.
Conclusion
While many people make so much of an ISTJ’s apparently stiff personality, they enjoy quality time, well-planned romantic dates, hugging, and cuddling when they have committed themselves to you. Their primary way of showing affection is by doing things for you that make your life as easy as possible.
They are complex characters with a strict set of values, but once you’ve got the nod from an ISTJ, they dedicate themselves to your service and care for life. It seems like it might be worth the wait.
